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5 terrible ways resentment destroy relationships

By bukky·13 March 2021
rese
How many times do we bite our lip while seething with anger or send mental daggers across the room towards our spouse when they annoy us? Resentment can be suspicious, dangerous and damaging. When the seeds of resentment are given an opportunity to grow, they will take root and cause division. It may leave you annoyed at the person you are sleeping with. Their demeanor might make you flee the room or worse--end the relationship! But in the end, we all wish that we didn't allow resentment to hinder our lives, so we need to be proactive. Pay attention to 5 ways resentment will ruin your relationship.

1. It makes small problems bigger

It may start as a small annoyance, but resentment could develop into an avalanche that could destroy a relationship. The small offenses may build up to become bigger problems and before you know it, you are constantly fighting. For example, when you are unsupportive about what your spouse loves to do or you make fun of it--resentment can start to take root.

2. It makes things one-sided

A result of resentment could be that the relationship starts to become totally one-sided. Resentment will take shape because your spouse's basic needs are not being met and they feel like they are being overlooked. In time this will bubble over into a fight that is motivated by anger. A healthy relationship is based on mutual give and take. One person can't be taking and not offering anything back of value.

3. It creates a hotbed of conflict

Resentment really mounts to unresolved conflicts. By not dealing with this in the relationship, bitterness and strife start to manifest. It sets the couple up for failure as it will set the stage for further fights. Think of it as a revolving door of conflict that feeds into an environment of enmity. The one who is angry at the other could fly off the handle for any reason because nothing is settled. Open up communication and calmly address what is bothering you. Be welcoming to forgiveness and allow peace to do its work.

4. It fuels unforgiveness

There will only be more trouble when we don't let resentment go as it will just smolder. Maybe the other person apologized to you, but you are still seething with anger. You can choose to hold onto the anger or move your relationship forward by forgiving. Choosing to forgive does not mean that what the person did was right, but you acknowledge that there is power in forgiveness. Remember you create a burden for yourself when you don't let things go.

5. It will quench passion

Resentment will douse any passion in the relationship. How can passion continue when you are invariably angry at the other person? Resentment creates distance and physical communication ends up suffering. Affection and intimacy start to deteriorate slowly. This gap will only become closed when the resentful party can set aside their differences and use the tool of communication.
Do something about your resentment and seek outside help if you need to find the root cause. Allowing this cruel enemy into your life will destroy relationships and erode you at the core.
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