For most women, the hardest part about their love life isn’t meeting or establishing an attraction with men.
But rather, it’s creating that deep connection and rush of strong emotions and powerful feelings that move things forward from the casual dating stage toward committed, romantic relationships.
This transition can be a pain point for many women who can’t seem to get past point of casually dating.
The reason for this isn’t that men are “commitment phobes,” as so many would have you believe. Rather, it’s that a guy just hasn’t felt deeply attached to them on an emotional level.
As we all know, physical attraction fades over time, and it’s the quality of our emotional connection with each other — or the lack thereof — that makes or breaks a relationship.
How do you make a man feel deeply attached to you? Below are 5 ways to achieve it:
1. Date him for who he is, not for his potential
Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are, but many women make the mistake of dating a guy for his potential, i.e., the man he could become in five years.
But men aren’t projects. When you have an expectation for a man to change, he feels like you’re not seeing him for who he is. For some men, it could make them feel insecure, like they’re not enough. If a guy feels this at the beginning of a relationship, he’ll likely cut and run.
2. Create emotional safety for him
Creating emotional safety means creating a space where someone can express their thoughts, feelings, and desires without feeling judged. When men refer to a woman as being easy to talk to, they mean that they’re able to say things they typically wouldn’t share with anyone else, because they know they won’t be made to feel judged.
The next time your man is having a bad day, complaining about his frustration with a colleague, or telling you something personal, listen to him without judgment. Know when to fix a problem, when to offer help, and when to simply listen.
3. Keep things light and playful
People remember you based on the experiences you share together. The more positive and fun experiences you share, the more someone associates those feelings with you.
It’s important to keep the beginning of a relationship light and playful, because to a guy, even if he really, really likes you, you’re still just dating.
4. Be vulnerable
The fastest way to create emotional intimacy with someone is to drop your guard and show your vulnerability. When you show someone an unfiltered version of yourself, you’re essentially giving them the key to explore every intimate detail about you, and that’s a huge responsibility.
When you show people your vulnerability, you creating emotional safety for a guy to do the same.
5. Give him space to chase you
Many women panic as soon as they think a guy is pulling away. They panic when a guy doesn’t text or call one day, or if he seems a little distant at dinner.
When this happens, it causes a role reversal, and without either one consciously realizing as it happens, the guy becomes the one being chased.
