Sometimes a guy looks great on paper, but then you realize he’s somewhat of a dud a few weeks into the relationship.
This doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, it just means that the two of you are incompatible.
If you’ve had a few relationships that have fallen apart, it’s possible that you’re just attracted to men who are incapable of giving you what you need.
Here are a few signs to look out for next time:
1. He refuses to compromise
Compromise is literally one of the most important aspects of any relationship. The two of you may have a lot of similarities, but you’re still two completely different people. And if he’s unwilling to go see the movies you want to see or go to a concert that you’d enjoy more than he would, he’s incapable of being a good partner. Your relationship should be balanced. If not, you’ll find yourself more lonely than when you were single.
2. He’s bad with scheduling dates
Not just romantic dates, but dates in general. If it feels like you’re his personal secretary, you’re putting too much of your time trying to make him a functioning adult. That arrangement might work for now, but pretty soon, you’re going to start resenting him for it.
3. Your sex drives never seem to match
High libido? Low libido? They’re both fine, as long as needs are being met. If he keeps making excuses about why he can’t sleep with you, your self-esteem is going to take a nosedive. These things often don’t change, so if you’re unhappy with the amount of sex in your relationship, don’t expect things to miraculously get better in a few months.
4. When you mention marriage, he freezes
Not every couple is destined to get married, and that’s OK. What’s not okay is one partner leading the other on for years. If he doesn’t actually answer the question about a timeline or seems repulsed at every wedding you attend together, this guy isn’t going to commit to you long-term. Also, he’s awful at communication. Couples should be able to talk about anything, even if it’s uncomfortable or may lead to a fight.
5. He never treats for anything
Every couple has their own financial situation worked out, but if this guy won’t lend you money (or makes you pay him back immediately), you’re going to feel more like his roommate than his partner. Even if he’s stingy with money, he needs to make you a priority and realize that if this relationship is set to go the distance, you’ll eventually need to collaborate a bit more financially.
6. You have to ask him to do the same chores over and over
It’s insulting when people don’t listen to you the first time around, but if your boyfriend is so bad with taking direction that it’s almost like talking to a toddler, there’s no way this relationship will last without a ton of resentment on your side.
7. He comments about how he’s never been in a relationship this long
In his head, it probably sounds sweet, but really it’s a warning sign. No, every boyfriend shouldn’t come equipped with a resume of long-term relationships — dating history will always differ from person to person. But if this guy is almost amazed that your courtship has lasted so long and brings it up a lot, it means there’s probably a red flag right around the corner.
8. He ignores you
Either he’s distracted by something else or he just doesn’t know how to respond. Even an “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, sorry” or a “Can you say that again?” is better than pure silence. Chances are, you want to be with someone you can have a natural conversation with. If you’re getting shut out on the regular, this relationship just isn’t built to last.
