It’s natural to want control in life. It’s only human. Sometimes we simply want some control of our own lives and do things our way. In every relationship, it’s normal for partners to have a tug of war to gain control over their lives and the relationship.
It’s human nature but only as long as it doesn’t turn toxic. There’s a difference in being human and being a controlling partner. It’s essential to spot the signs in time and walk away before it causes too much damage.
Wanting control of their own life is different from wanting control over their partner’s lives and everything that they do.
If your partner’s tug of war is to gain control over your life and change how you do things to suit their needs and demands, it may make things a lot worse.
Someone who wants control over their partner’s life does not simply stop at that. It won’t be too long before it turns into emotional or even physical abuse.
So if your partner is showing these signs it might be the right time to take a step back. Here are 8 signs to look out for:
1. It’s not abnormal for your partner to criticize you. It may help you become a better person but it’s not normal when your partner criticizes every little thing that you do and makes you question yourself.
2. Guilt is normal when you do something wrong but if your partner makes you feel guilty and uses your guilt to have their way it may be a sign of an underlying issue.
3. If your partner is constantly insecure and question everyone you hang out with or are friends with it may not be a good sign. If your partner is always jealous of your friends or anyone who you talk to and get suspicious and possessive and are threatened by anyone you are in contact with it may be a way of controlling you.
4. They keep tabs on your phone and check your social media accounts and spy on you on a regular basis.
5. They belittle you and make you feel bad about everything you do and who you are as a person. They make you hate and distrust yourself to make you depend on them.
6. They threated you with ultimatums or self-harm or suicide. This is a form of emotional manipulation.
7. What happens in your relationship eventually impacts your sex life as well. If intimacy feels forced or if you feel terrible after sex or uncomfortable or if it feels wrong, it may be pointing towards your partners controlling behavior.
8. They dislike who you hang out with or talk to for that matter. They plant seeds of doubt against your close and loved ones in your mind. They push you to cut such people off. This is a technique to isolate you from people and gain more control.
