This message is one that we’ve all heard at one time or another.
Whether it was a parent, a teacher, or some actual friend who felt out of the loop; the person delivering the message was trying to get us to keep our secrets to ourselves.
It’s with this notion that you feel free to share every last detail of your life with the people you trust the most.
Where should you draw the line, though? There must be certain parts of your life that should remain behind closed doors, right? Absolutely!
Your relationship with your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is where you should draw the line in the sand. There are certain things that your friends just don’t need to know.
For good and bad, better or worse, the finer details of your most important relationship needs to stay in house. Below you’ll find 7 such topics that are off limits:
1. Money issues
Money is a sensitive subject for just about anyone who doesn’t have a million dollars in the bank. If you and your partner are having issues saving or paying off debt, that’s no ones business but yours. You two should work together to figure out a plan to make it work. If you need some help figuring it out, seek advice from an objective party. By spilling the information to your friends, you’re betraying the trust of the person you’re with. Be tight lipped on this one.
2. Your partner’s (or your) transgressions
If one of you cheated and you’re trying to make it work, telling your friends about it will most definitely derail the process. Stepping out on the one you love is a universal negative in the world we live in, so you’ll only be inviting judgment into your relationship. No matter how you try to rationalize it with your friends, they won’t understand your perspective. Work through it with your partner only.
He’s not great in bed. She’s a pushover. If there’s some feeling that you have about the person that you’re with, but you haven’t had a conversation with them about it, then it’s off limits for outside conversations. Don’t use your partner’s shortcomings as stand-up comedy material for you and your buddies. If there’s something that bothers you about your wife or husband, be honest with them about it.
4. Naked selfies and things of the like
If there’s some intimate details of your relationship like some nude photos or racy emails being sent, there’s no need to show any of your friends. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife doesn’t need to say “for your eyes only” with each juicy message they send. It’s implied. Understand that they are trying to turn you on, not become a topic of conversation within your social circle.
5. Your partner’s past
Maybe he cheated. Maybe she had an ugly divorce with her ex. No matter what the issue is, there’s no need to broadcast it. Just because you’ve accepted their past doesn’t mean that your friends will do the same. It’s clear that they’ve put it behind them, so allow it to stay there. By using it as a conversation piece outside of your relationship, you’re betraying their trust in a big way.
6. Your sex life
What you do behind closed doors with the person you love should remain behind closed doors. To be sexual and intimate with someone is one of the most vulnerable acts a human can expose themselves to. Sharing the details decreases the value of those intimate moments with your partner. No one needs to know how many times you’ve done it in the past month, or how tame or wild it is. If the two of you are happy with how it goes down, that’s all that matters.
It should be understood that the level of confidentiality with your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is as high as it gets. It’s a safe space where they can share about their friends, family, or coworkers without worry that what they’ve said will be heard by anyone else. If they find out that something they’ve said found it’s way into the ear of someone that isn’t you, the trust in your relationship will be broken. If you break that trust, you’re then encouraging them to keep their thoughts to themselves.
