If you’re looking to build and maintain a happy, healthy relationship, you should be aware that it takes more than just love to make things last: partners also need to share a mutual foundation of respect, too.
In order to have a true partnership, it’s crucial that both people feel like they’re equals in every sense of the word-which isn’t possible if one partner feels disrespected by the other.
Nobody wants to admit that their partner doesn’t respect them. This terrible truth comes out in different kinds of ways, all with the common thread of not treating you how you deserve to be treated.
Here are some signs this is happening to you:
1. They don’t listen to you
Listening is a significant part of communication, if it’s not there then you have a big problem. Maybe your partner only seems half-there when you talk or perhaps it seems things just go in one ear and out the other. They often can’t remember conversations you had because they weren’t listening and/or they don’t care.
2. They don’t make you a priority
You should be a top priority in their life—you’re their partner. If they can’t make proper space for you, why stick with them? Maybe this lack of respect looks like not having time for you in their schedule or not paying proper attention to you while you’re in a group of people. Whatever it is, you aren’t getting the attention and appreciation you deserve.
3. They don’t take time to learn about what’s important to you
Maybe your partner doesn’t identify as a feminist but you do. This is likely a topic that you’re very passionate about because it’s a core part of who you are. A partner who respects you would take the time to learn about what feminism is, knowing how important it is to you. They’d be open-minded enough to stretch their understandings of things.
4. They interrupt you
This is something that all women have to deal with on a regular basis: at work, out in public, and sometimes unfortunately in their relationship. This tends to happen in straight relationships when you’re dating a man. You’re talking about something and then suddenly he’s talking over you like his opinion is more important. Ugh. However, it should be noted that this could also happen with women or non-binary folk as partners too—no one is immune.
5. You will have to make excuses for their behaviour to loved ones
Your friends see right through your partner’s crap. They notice they aren’t treating you well and they want you to get out of the relationship. As a last attempt at trying to soothe your loved one’s nerves, you come up with a bunch of excuses about why your partner does what they do. You excuse their poor behavior and sometimes even go to the extreme of lying for them.
6. They invite friends out on your date
You’re looking forward to just you and your partner, a night out together. Maybe you’re envisioning a romantic dinner and a chance to really connect. Instead, your partner asks if you mind going to a local pub because their buddy is going to join. This isn’t a one-time occurrence either—it’s happened many times before.
7. They pay a ton of attention to their phone when you’re together
I get it, we all love to be on our phones, but there’s a limit. Your partner should be minimizing their phone usage when you’re with one another. You should be enjoying each other’s company, most other things can wait. Of course, there are exceptions like when you’ve mutually agreed to be together while also hanging out on your phones because this can definitely happen. I’m talking about times like being at dinner.