If you have ever had your heart broken, chances are you will have a hard time with commitment. Although it doesn’t end there, childhood traumas, trust issues, abuse, neglect and fear of being hurt can hold you back from taking the next step.
Due to the betrayal you may have suffered or saw in your parent’s marriage, it can keep you from assigning a title to your relationship no matter how well things may be going.
A bona fide fear, whether it is rooted in your childhood or related to a mental health condition, if not dealt with, you may lose out on true love.
Here are a few ways you can deal with commitment phobia and finally give love a chance.
1. Identify the cause
Understanding the root cause of your commitment phobia is crucial. While others may be glaring, you may have to dig deep to find the obscure sources.
Once you identify the problem you will be surprised at how much strength you have to overcome it. Your fear might actually be baseless and you will be able to reconnect easily once you deal with it.
2. Take that risk
Sometimes all you have to do is get out of your comfort zone. You can start small. For instance, instead of jumping into a relationship with both legs at the word go, start with simple dates, weekend getaways, then build it up from there.
Before you know it, you will be the one defining the relationship. Give yourself room to experience love and get to know new people. Don’t be so restricted and structured to a point where you have no time for other people or things. Live life and enjoy it.
3. Take a break
If you just got out of a bad relationship, it is a good idea to take it easy before jumping into the next affair. Take time to heal and learn from that experience first.
Be whole before you can start dating. If it means moving to a new city, getting a new job or surrounding yourself with positive people, do so. Therapy at this point may also be very helpful.
4. Stop overthinking
No matter how scared you may be of letting someone in, avoid focusing on everything that could go wrong and think of the opposite. What if you got it right this time?
You could be pushing away your soulmate unknowingly all out of fear of something that hasn’t even happened. Face your fear head on and take that leap of faith.
5. Have fun
Do not allow your commitment phobia to take out the fun in your relationship. Playfulness plays a huge role in keeping the relationship exciting.
Despite what you have gone through, strive to be a joy to be around. If you take things too seriously your relationship will become monotonous and you may both start looking for excitement elsewhere. In such a scenario, balance is important.
