We often get so caught up in ourselves that we forget other people have a completely different way of interacting with and looking at life.
In addition, our expectations of how others should be can dictate how we interact with other people and how happy we are in our relationships.
An expectation is a strong belief, and believing that your partner is going to act a certain way, do something, or achieve something, is a huge setup for disappointment and conflict in the relationship.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t expect a few things out of your partner. For instance, you shouldn’t expect:
1. Expecting your partner to have the same beliefs you have
This is a huge cause of conflict. I’ve especially seen this in couples who have been together for a while and start to develop different beliefs.
Beliefs are formed from many things, such as experiences and evidence, and as we go through life our beliefs can change.
2. Expecting your partner to get it done the ‘right’ way
You’ve heard the old saying, “If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” It took me a while, but I’ve realized that this is something that you should live by if you want to get things done in a way that pleases you.
Other people do things as well as they can or desire, and it may not live up to your expectations, which can be disappointing and cause you to make them feel as though they are not good enough.
3. Expecting your partner to be happy
Most of us don’t like it when other people are grumpy or not feeling good. But expecting them to be happy all (or most) of the time is unrealistic.
All humans go through a wide range of emotions, and your partner is no different. Depending on what is happening around them, they are going to be mad, sad, upset, angry, and possibly even depressed sometimes.
4. Expecting your partner to read your mind
You have probably been disappointed by your partner for not taking action on something that you hoped they would take action on.
For instance, you may have expected they would buy you a certain gift, take you out for a celebration, or just cook you a dinner after a hard day of work, but in the end they did none of that.
5. Expecting your partner to make you happy
Too many people get in a relationship and expect their partner to make them happy. In fact, I know many people who feel they are not going to be happy until they are in a relationship. This is simply not true.
Happiness is not something you find from someone else. It is something you find from within.
