When it comes to past relationship baggage, the majority of us have something we’re carrying around with us.
It’s easy to carry issues from one relationship to the next if you’ve had a difficult or traumatic relationship in the past, or even just a bad breakup.
In essence, emotional baggage is the buried pain, grief, anger, resentment, fear, hurt, and other painful feelings. We associate certain people or situations with these feelings.
We then carry these feelings with us and allow them to harm us and our present relationships.
Here are 4 signs that will assist you in determining whether emotional baggage from your past relationship is weighing you down.
1. Lack of trust
Because of the unprocessed emotions from previous experiences, trusting people is a very difficult challenge for you. You believe that people will take advantage of you and will never be true to you, so you find it difficult to share your feelings, emotions, or desires with anyone. These life events can cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, and lack of trust. A few classic signs would be growing dependency, insecurity, commitment issues, and emotional unavailability.
2. Insecurity
One of the most telling signs of deep emotional baggage is a fear that every relationship will end in pain or that you will be left alone. Everyone is afraid of being abandoned by someone they care about. When you give your heart to someone, it’s natural to feel vulnerable. Emotional baggage, on the other hand, can lead you to believe that no one is trustworthy enough to truly love you. As a result, you may end up sabotaging your own relationships.
3. You try to recreate your last relationship
Some people carry so much baggage from an ex that they begin to try to shape their current relationship to resemble their previous one — often without realising it. If you find yourself constantly comparing your current relationship to a previous one or wishing that your current partner was more like a previous one, it could be a sign that you haven’t moved on from the baggage of that previous relationship.
4. Projection
Perhaps the most damaging behaviour that leads to toxic and unhealthy relationship dynamics is projection. When you project your insecurities onto your partner, you create blame games, distrust, and serious communication breakdowns that can prevent you from ever developing a happy relationship.
It’s okay if you realize you have issues from a previous relationship; most of us do. Take a deep breath and consider whether it is time to work through it. Speak with your partner, friends, or a therapist. You will come out to be stronger.
