I think we’re all big enough to admit that we’ve all been strung along in a relationship. Or in a situationship.
Either way, there are certain lies that we tell ourselves in order to get our heads straight in these moments.
It’s how we end up staying in the same unsatisfying relationships for so long. To people on the outside, it’s clear.
But, when it’s you waiting for a text back from the guy you’re seeing, you’re on the end of a tough bargain.
Here are more reasons why that guy who isn’t texting you just simply isn’t worth your time.
1. He clearly isn’t all that into you
If this guy isn’t texting you, he clearly doesn’t like you all that much. It doesn’t matter if he’s said he’s into you when you were last hanging out (or hooking up!) — the proof is in the pudding here. If he wanted to get to know you better and potentially form a relationship with you, he would be in contact regularly. End of story.
2. He’s probably texting someone else
If he’s not texting you, who is this guy texting? Chances are, you’re not the only woman on the scene and he has someone else (or several someones) on the go. This means he’s not dedicated to you and is more than likely a bachelor who’s content to play the field and use women as and when he sees fit. You don’t want any part of that.
3. You shouldn’t be putting in all the effort
In an ideal world, relationships would always be 50/50. That’s not always possible because, you know, life happens. However, in the early stages of getting to know each other before you’re an official couple, you should both be putting in the effort it takes to win the other over. If it’s all you at this early stage, what would it be like if he was actually your boyfriend? Exactly.
4. You’re a catch and he’s not on your level
You’re not the same, and it’s not your fault that he hasn’t clocked that yet. Most guys seem to think that the more out of his league a girl is, the worse he must treat her. The most obnoxious ones seem to think they’re Adonis himself and that that somehow gives them license to treat the women in his life like absolute rubbish. That said, his misunderstanding is not your reason to stay in a ridiculous situation. There’s no blame here, just a reminder that he likely acts out and ghosts you precisely because he knows that you can do better. Think on that.
5. He doesn’t respect you
If a guy knows what you want and you’ve been talking for some time, he isn’t an idiot. He knows what you want from him: the attention and the tenderness. Guys aren’t devoid of emotion or critical thinking skills. Don’t give them that out. No, it’s intentional when they’re not answering your texts. Everyone else in your life remembers to respond to you as a part of their busy lives. Does he really think he’s so busy that he can’t send a good morning text? Really?
6. He takes you for granted
Simply put, if he wanted to, he would. Because he doesn’t, it means that he thinks you’ll still be there waiting for him when he does choose to respond. Whether that is true or not is beside the point. It’s the thought behind the action. The presumption. The audacity. Prove him wrong by making sure he receives radio silence when he does finally get around to it.
7. It sets a precedent
If this pseudo-ghosting is the basis of your relationship, think about what kind of relationship that would grow into. Clearly, it would be completely uneven. He would give himself all the power in the relationship to control the terms and escalate it as he sees fit and you’d be expected to simply put up with it and roll with the punches. This isn’t the reality of a healthy relationship.
8. You will not get your needs met
If you don’t feel like you would get a reply within 2-3 business days, then what are you really getting from the relationship? Is he so cute that your serotonin boost when he does text is greater than the depression you feel when he doesn’t? Didn’t think so. It’s a form of regression and you won’t realize it’s happening until it’s too late. You don’t get anything out of this relationship. It’s an emotional drain.
9. You aren’t his priority
What evidence do you even have that he likes you or wants to commit when he can’t be bothered to reply to you? It’s clear that you don’t fall anywhere on his list of priorities. If you did, he could take the five seconds to type out a quick message to let you know he’s thinking of you and that you’re still on his radar. The fact that he’s not doing this tells you everything you need to know.
