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10 things you can do to stop thinking about your ex

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So, it happened. Another breakup. And as much as you’d like to be able to snap your fingers and forget, getting over someone is a lot easier said than done.


Sure, you can easily get rid of the pictures, delete their text messages, and block them on social media, but that’s not the hard part. Erasing them from your mind is another story.

Maybe you’re wracking your brain about what went wrong. Maybe you’re replaying your last sex session over and over again.

Whatever it is, there’s no denying that the hardest part of a breakup is often not being able to stop thinking about someone.

1. Distract yourself so you’re too busy to think about them

This is maybe the most obvious one, but it’s true: One of the best ways to stop thinking about someone is to take that energy and redirect it into creating something new.

2. Establish some boundaries with yourself

Just so you know, you absolutely have the power to control where your mind goes and what you think about. But that’s a lot easier to do when you set boundaries with your ex after the breakup.

3. Give yourself some time to feel sad, mad, or angry

You might be tempted to hold it all in and keep it together, but licensed therapist suggests you do the opposite. It’s important to allow yourself to feel the feelings associated with a breakup or disconnect with another person. Once you’ve allowed yourself to fully feel all the things, you might find that you have nothing left to feel or replay in your head.

4. Understand that you may still have lingering feelings for the person

I’m sure we’d all love to just stop caring for someone as soon as we breakup, but we all know that isn’t how human emotions work. It’s okay to still love your ex. Once you stop beating yourself up over caring about them still, you may stop thinking about them entirely.

5. Indulge in all the self care

Soak yourself in a bathtub filled with water and epsom salt to relax and rejuvenate. This should help to “clear out all the unwanted thoughts, feelings, and energies that you are not letting go of.

6. Get closure if you need it

I can assure you, 99.99 percent of the time, closure is a made-up concept that won’t bring you peace. Most of the time, nothing your ex will say is going to make you feel better. If anything, it will delay your healing process even further. But, sometimes we can’t stop thinking about someone because there are unresolved issues and things we need to say to them.

7. Reconnect with who you’re

Sometimes you get so swept up in trying to avoid thinking about your ex that you forget to think about you. But really, giving yourself the same attention you would have otherwise given them may help clear your mind.

8. Again, write it all out

Like we mentioned before, writing is absolutely key to getting rid of the things inside of your head. And if you want to empty yourself of certain thoughts, pouring them out onto paper can really help.

9. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get over the breakup quickly

Getting over someone who has been a part of every facet of your life can be difficult regardless of your relationship’s duration. So, give yourself time to grieve without putting time limits, have someone else on speed dial, and shift your focus to self-care and individual betterment.

10. Remove the things in your life that reminds you of him

If you want to stop thinking about someone, you’re going to have to get rid of things that remind you of them. Our thoughts are generated by triggers that remind us of an actual experience, individual, and previous event.

It’s alright to go through a breakup with tears and ice-cream bucket but you’ll get back up I know you’re strong enough.

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