Education plays an important role in a person’s life. Every child has the right to it and no one can deprive them of it.
But when it comes to knowledge, one must not limit it to getting good grades, coming first in the class or delivering only ‘As’.
While parents want the best for their kids, hope that their children succeed in all walks of life, they should also know that pressuring kids to excel in academics may have a negative impact on them.
1. Pressure does not lead to success, but stress
There’s a fine line between helping your child gain confidence to become an achiever and pressuring them to fulfill your high expectations. If you believe demanding excellence from your child will make them efficient and hardworking, you’re probably on the wrong track.
Experts believe parental pressure can often make children prone to stress and anxiety. According to a November 2016 study by researchers at Arizona State University, pressuring kids to get good grades or do extremely well in activities may affect their mental and physical health, while impairing them of values such as kindness and empathy. If parent’s start valuing grades and achievements over their children’s needs and wishes, this can send across the wrong message.
2. The need to focus of kindness and empathy
The study conducted by Arizona State University involved 506 sixth graders, who were asked to lay down the top three things that they thought their parents wanted from them. The children were given 6 options, of which the majority of the children said personal success, such as getting good grades and having a successful career later in life. The other three values were associated with kindness and decency.
The researchers then separated the children according to their responses and compared how each group performed at school depending on their academic reports.
It was found that children who said their parents wanted them to excel in academics dealt with negative impacts of the same and showed signs of depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, and lower grades, sending out a clear message how parental pressure can impact a child’s mental health.
3. High expectations may result in increased (unproductive) competition
Although it is important to set expectations, to have a plan and to guide children to develop aims and aspirations in life, a 2015 research published by American Psychological Association (APA) revealed that setting too high expectations can be counterproductive. While parental aspirations can encourage children to indulge in healthy competition, taking things too far may affect their performance negatively.
How to help your child instead
Rather than pressuring one’s child to achieve excellence, how about we let them decide on their own, be there to guide them when they need us. That said, here are some things you can do to encourage them positively.
– Hard work is important, but do not make it the only thing that matters.
– Let children make mistakes. Rather than criticizing them for it, guide them to become better.
– Winning is not everything. Let your child know that.
– Being empathetic and kind is above all.
– Let children know that getting good grades does not equate to being a good human being.
