What makes over analyzing a relationship difficult to overcome is that the person doing it doesn’t always seem to realize they are doing it.
Take this for example. You just met this guy, he asked you out on a date and several dates down, nothing could be so perfect.
The next time you meet he is not his cheerful bubbly self and soon your mind starts racing.
You obsessively start thinking maybe he has commitment phobia, he wants to break it off or he doesn’t feel you anymore.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Chances are, he is just having a bad day or he may have received some terrible news.
You need to understand that you can’t control everything and you cannot read people’s minds trying to figure out why they did or did not do what they said they would do.
Before this vicious cycle becomes an end to your relationship, here is what you can do to stop over analyzing your relationships.
1. Talk
Communication is key in every relationship. If you find your mind constantly racing and you’re always building a narrative on everything trying to uncover hidden messages where there are none, confide in your partner.
No matter how small the issue may be, like them taking a rain check due to work or they take longer to respond to your text, let them know how such situations affect you and how they can make it palatable for you.
Do not use accusatory statements or they will shut down. If anything, he or she is genuinely caught up and despite what your mind is trying to tell you, the opposite is true.
2. Be rational
Take a minute and think about where the other person is coming from and stop looking at things from your own eyes only.
Things don’t always go as planned and your partner may be intending to do something but a distraction came up that couldn’t be avoided and needed to be handled.
No matter what your ex took you through, remember this is not them. Do not project your fears and insecurities from past relationships to your current ones or you will lose them.
3. Take it easy
Before you jump into conclusions and act on them, remember there is always another perspective, explanation, interpretation and reasoning as to why what happened.
Learn to take things at face value and stop digging for what isn’t there. This is especially true if you’re in a loving relationship.
You need to trust your partner enough for them to do the right things. Stop over analyzing why he came home late or why he hasn’t called you the whole day.
4. Get busy
Could you be having too much time on your hands? Well, if you’re over thinking about everything in your relationship chances are you are too bored and you need something to focus your energy on.
A physical activity like dancing or Pilates will help with anxiety over time. Replace your worries with something else you enjoy.
If this means leaving your phone behind and going for some ice-cream with a friend or taking the dog for a walk do so.
5. Be positive
When you find your mind wandering, take hold of it and actively think of positive things. This could be a new job, your cute niece or a new business venture.
Leave things you can’t control alone. If your relationship is meant to be it will be. Let things flow.
