It’s impossible to know for sure who could be Mr. or Mrs. Right from a first date.
But, there are a lot of ways to tell that they aren’t a match for you. Pay attention, and be picky.
Treat dates like an audition, not a finished product, and be honest about what you do or don’t like.
We’ve created a list below of 8 red flags — things to keep an eye out for that may be causes for excitement or disappointment on a first date.
These red flags are the indicators that will tell you what a relationship may be like with your date and can prevent you from making some of the biggest mistakes of your life.
1. Your date doesn’t dress for the occasion
If your date shows up in sweat pants or basketball shorts and tennis shoes, just run. Unless you’re planning to do something active together on your date, of course. But, if you’re going out to dinner on a first date, and your date can’t manage to put on some jeans, they probably aren’t the one. You should be able to tell that they put some kind of effort in at the least.
2. Their table manners are seriously lacking
If you couldn’t watch your date eat for the rest of your life, you probably don’t need to give them a second date. Do you want to kiss those lips knowing they made out with the spaghetti like that?
3. They don’t treat the server or bartender with respect
Number one, treating people poorly is just plain rude. I work in the service industry, so maybe I’m just a little more in tune with this one, but it really does give you an indication of someone’s personality. Chances are, if they’re an ass to a server, they’ll end up talking to you the same exact way sometimes. Servers have feelings, too. If they refuse to tip, that’s another sign you may be hanging around the wrong person.
4. You have to carry the conversation all on your own
This one can be a little tough to make a judgment on. Every date has a little bit of awkwardness, a little bit of silence, and a little bit of staring at the ceiling. But no date should feel like you’re pulling hairs to keep the conversation going. If you’re feeling like you’re constantly grasping at straws to keep the flow going, you’re working too hard. That spark you’re looking for is going to be difficult to catch if you’re having to work that hard to spark up a conversation.
5. They start judging you or others
One thing I’ve strangely run into while on dates is men who look around the restaurant and bash whatever is currently going on. For example, a guy looks over and sees a plus-sized guy with a skinny date, and wants to talk about how she could do better? That ain’t it. Generally, this can be a big indicator that your date is a potential douchebag.
6. They talk over you and completely control the conversation
This goes back to the idea of rules of communication. If they’re talking over you at every opportunity, just leave. A good date wants to hear what you want to share as much as he wants to share with you, and you shouldn’t have to fight to be heard.
7. You can’t find ANYTHING in common
Try to keep track in your head of different things you have in common as the conversation progresses. Could you have a conversation about something you both care about? Can you imagine them being a part of your life? If you can’t, why pursue something that doesn’t fit into the vision you have for your life?
8. They seem bored with your stories
People are really good at faking…a lot of things. But especially interest. We’ll cheer for a stranger, be kind, act interested in subjects we’ve never heard of, smile and nod while someone chats about their hobbies. Does your date do this for you? Can you tell they’re not listening?
Or do they remember little details? One thing that never fails to impress me or make me smile while on a date is when a guy brings up something I mentioned or finds the perfect moment to use an inside joke I shared.
