You probably express your love and affection to your partner in different ways on a daily basis.
But have you ever noticed the way in which you express that love or wondered if your partner is happy and satisfied with how you show or communicate your feelings?
A love language is an individual’s way of expressing and receiving love in a relationship. It is their way of showing affection to their partner.
Every individual has a different love language through which they express their feelings or prefer to receive love from their partner.
The concept was developed by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman and has since changed the way people view and perceive love.
Therefore, to help you understand the concept better, let’s explore the 5 love languages identified by Dr. Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts love language
What does it mean to have gift giving as a love language?
Out of the 5 love languages developed by Dr. Chapman, the gift giving love language is probably the most misunderstood one. Like stated earlier, the love language of gifts is one where partners show their love and affection in the form of gifts, be it simple or expensive. It is their way of expressing care and closeness to their partner. They are also the happiest when they receive the same through gifts.
It’s usually assumed that partners who believe in showing affection only through gifts or tangible items are materialistic but that’s not really true. It’s just their preferred way of giving and receiving love. The gifting love language is a gesture that shows that your partner has been missing you or thinking about you in your absence and probably wanted to do something to put a smile on your face.
The gifts might be beautiful but it’s the thought behind them that really matters to your partner. Those presents are just a way to show you that you’ve been on their mind. The size or price of the gift doesn’t matter. Partners that use gifts as a love language feel loved and cherished when they receive thoughtful presents from their special ones. The gifts remind them of the shared love and care.
Gift giving love language: How to show love
Partners usually do not gravitate toward the same love language when expressing affection. But it is important that you understand each other’s love language to build a happy, fulfilling, and meaningful relationship. According to Dr. Chapman, learning your partner’s love language improves communication, prevents conflict and arguments, promotes better understanding between couples, and strengthens love.
The gift giving love language may not be your style or come naturally to you but you can always try to learn if it’s the one that your partner prefers. This does not mean that you stop using your love language to show affection. It just means that you care about their needs and preferences too. If you aren’t inclined toward the gift love language but your partner is, then there are a few ways you can show love in your special one’s preferred love language:
- The first way is to just ask your partner about the kind of gifts they like. It’ll show them that you care about their preferences
- Pay attention to the kind of gifts they give. It’s likely that the kind of presents they give you are the type they want to receive
- Be mindful of what you are giving. If it’s haphazardly put together for the sake of it, it’s better to not give them anything at all. People with the receiving gifts love language like presents that are thoughtful and have emotion attached to it
- Start small – buy them their favorite flowers or pastry, or have food delivered to their workplace. No grand gestures. Just a little something to show that they’ve been on your mind and that you miss them when they aren’t around
- Set a reminder a few days ahead of important occasions like birthdays or wedding anniversary. This way, you’ll have enough time to shop for the perfect gift
Try giving them a present every fortnight or month. Nothing extravagant or flashy. Instead, just a tangible something (pair of earrings, flowers, or their favorite food) to show that you were thinking about them in their absence. Earn brownie points by getting them something special just because you wanted to. Like a surprise gift to make their random, mundane day special. Do it and see them smile ear to ear for a whole week
