Anyone can have “daddy issues,” a term that indicates that you had a difficult or non-existent relationship with your father.
Having a dysfunctional relationship with a father or father figure can cause problems for your relationships as well as your overall life.
However, daddy issues in women can manifest differently in relationships than they do for men. Here are some things to look out for.
1. YOU HAVE BAD SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES
If your father was the type of man to put you down, call you names, or never seemed to think you were good enough, you could have self-esteem problems now. No matter how many times your partner tells you that you’re beautiful or perfect, you can’t seem to see the great parts of yourself. Your partner feels frustrated that you feel that way about yourself. If that causes a strain in the relationship, daddy issues could be to blame.
2. YOU’RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR REASSURANCE
Do you catch yourself thinking, Does he actually love me? Do you ask him that over and over again? It’s okay to seek attention from your partner and feel that you are safe and secure with them. It isn’t okay when it’s happening consistently. You may be trying to get the attention and safety you needed as a child through your current partner.
3. YOU’RE EXCEPTIONALLY CLINGY
Can’t stand the thought of your guy leaving you alone for too long? Do you need to hold his hand every chance you get? It’s normal when you first start dating to feel attached to your man and feel like being away from them is torture. But if it has been a while and you’re anxious every time he leaves or even goes to the bathroom, it’s time to figure out if daddy issues are responsible for it.
4. YOU PICK TERRIBLE GUYS TO DATE
Notice a pattern in the guys you’ve dated? If your primary male figure was a man who was supposed to be loving and nurturing and never lived up to those expectations, you could equate sh*tty behavior with love and affection. So if you seem to keep dating guys who don’t respect you or treat you with the utmost disrespect, that’s a sign you shouldn’t ignore.
5. YOU DATE MEN WHO ARE WAY OLDER THAN YOU ARE
The classic sign of daddy issues in women is dating men older than you are with a significant gap in age. In theory, this is to “replace” the father figure who failed you in some way. Keep in mind that age gap relationships don’t automatically mean that you have daddy issues. If you’re suspicious about it, it’s worth checking out. Be careful of men that seem to have more power and control, because they could see dating you as an opportunity to control someone.
6. YOU’RE CONVINCED HE’S CHEATING ON YOU
If your guy comes home late one night, do you chalk it up to a long day at work or does it mean he’s cheating? You have a talent for jumping to the worst conclusions and it shows. Don’t go through his phone every single time he’s late or something feels “off”. Your internal alarm system is out of whack due to always feeling insecure as a child.
7. YOU FEEL JEALOUS
Jealously is normal from time to time. If you have daddy issues, your man could be talking to a waitress when those feelings surface. Maybe as a kid, you felt the need to compete for your father’s attention. Keeping up that kind of behavior, especially if you get confrontational and mean when your boyfriend is just trying to have a normal conversation, could lead to the relationship breaking down.
8. YOU MAKE SURE YOU’RE NEVER ALONE
Bouncing from relationship to relationship, no matter how badly the last one went, could signal that you are afraid of being alone. Never feeling secure with relationships as a child means that you’re determined to never be left alone again. The thing is that being alone is not just okay, it’s a good thing to learn how to be independent. Anxiously clinging on to a new man won’t solve the deep-rooted issues you’re having.
9. YOU NEVER GET TOO ATTACHED
Are you noncommittal in relationships? Unable to take the next step to make things official or even say, “I love you”? If you couldn’t rely on your dad to give you basic parental love and attention, you could feel hesitant to make the leap for yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself! You didn’t get a healthy model of what to look out. It’s no wonder you have trouble replicating it in your adulthood. If your relationships never go anywhere due to your cold feet, it’s time to talk about it.
