There are difficult and adverse situations that we deal with on an everyday basis. Some people can handle these situations calmly while some can’t.
Then there is a set of people who believe they have no control over the problems they encounter, thus calling themselves a victim.
These people never claim that it is their fault, even if is and always try to portray themselves as the victim.
They argue that they have no control over a situation where they believe they are ‘deliberately’ made to be in such a situation.
People with a victim mentality tend to blame others for the problem they are in.
“It always happens to me”
This is what a person who portrays themselves as a victim says usually. They believe their actions have no consequences for the situation they are in. It may be the fault of their coworker, partner, family or simply the world around them! They think that problems automatically come into their life, without any actions or consequences. They choose to be in denial and deny that they have any part in bringing problems into their life.
They don’t believe it is their fault
“It isn’t my fault”—people with a victim mentality never own up to their mistakes. They never believe it is their fault even if they directly have a hand in it. This invites a very negative mindset where they can’t cope. They keep reducing themselves to a state where they have no control over what’s happening in their life.
Why do some people have victim mentality?
Those who have a victim mentality have faced mental or emotional trauma at one point in their lives. Unable to find a way to deal with this positively, these people resort to making themselves look weak and helpless.
They don’t hold any sense of accountability for their actions. Another major reason why people have this mindset is that they want to run away from a load of responsibilities. They don’t want to face the reaction or the problems that come with it. Running away from mistakes only makes them untrustworthy and irresponsible.
Some people continue to have a victim mentality for the benefits they gain. The extra love and care that other people shower them with is a secondary gain that people with victim mentality enjoy. They like to gain sympathy from others and even seek validation. But sometimes, some may not even realise that they get such kinds of benefits.
These people are constantly unhappy and unsatisfied with their lives. Are you having trouble understanding whether you or someone you know has a victim mentality or not? Here are some blatant signs that can point out if you have a victim mentality.
- You blame others for the situation you are in. You hardly believe that any of it is your fault.
- You have a notion that life is against you. Everything that is happening around you is preventing you from attaining happiness.
- You have difficulty dealing with problems in your life. It is difficult for you to cope with problematic situations and you feel like you have no control over them.
- You are always complaining about some thing or the other.
- When you feel bad for yourself, it helps you to relax and feel less pressure.
- You attract people who also complain about their lives and do nothing to fix it.
Having a victim mentality is a slowly acquired behaviour that can slowly be changed with time. You aren’t born with you; you simply take on this behaviour as a result of the environment you are in.
