Friendship with an ex can be tricky, but given the murkiness of modern day relationships, it is a situation that many of us are commonly confronted with.
There is no right way to go about it, and in certain cases, being friends with an ex can be a wonderful thing.
That said, consider this a rare situation because there are enough reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with an ex.
These reasons will become clear once we tell you about the types of exes you’re better off not having in your life once the relationship is done and dusted.
1. The toxic ex who broke you
They didn’t deserve your love, and they don’t deserve your friendship. It’s really as simple as that. Of course, some people are better friends than they are lovers, and perhaps if the two of you had never gotten romantic, you might have become best friends. But, you did. And they broke you. You don’t need them in your life as a constant reminder of all that they put you through with. Besides, they need to feel your loss and face what they have done.
2. Your first love
Preserve your first love as a precious memory, instead of contaminating it with a friendship. Yes, that’s how one keeps the romance alive in one’s own inner life. Your first love, and your first relationship was something special. Turning the dead relationship into a friendship will rob it of that thrill, and make it another mundane association in your life. Be glad that you didn’t end up with your first love, because otherwise you wouldn’t have had the life you have today! A simpler reason is that you never really fully get over your first love, even when you move on, and are supremely happy where you are. And guess what? You don’t need to!
3. The one who’s still in love with you
Don’t be cruel! You might have moved on, and maybe now feel that you are ready for a friendship. You might even think that your ex’s feelings are not for you to take care of, and that’s healthy. But, they may still be holding on to the hope that you two will get back together. Or, even if they don’t hope for a patch up, having you in their life will make it harder for them to let go of the feelings they have. They may not be able to cut the cord. If you care about them, do it for them. Save them the torture of having you in their life, but not having you in the way they’d like.
4. The one you had a passionate on-again-off-again relationship with
Why? Because chances are, it will always remain a passionate on-again-off-again relationship. There was never a friendship there to begin with, just a lot of fire. If you want a friendship that has undertones of sexual tension, sure, go ahead. But, with someone like them, can you really be sure if the friendship isn’t just a ruse or an excuse to get into your pants?
5. The one you never really broke up with
Some relationships fade away. Unless you’ve had a proper conversation with an ex, and given them and yourself concrete closure, avoid developing a friendship. You have to be sure that neither of you is secretly expecting something more to blossom, and for that to happen, you have to make it clear that the relationship is over.
6. The one whose heart you broke
Oh, you evil thing! They probably wouldn’t even want to be friends with you in the first place. But, if this person is masochistic enough to have you around, do a good thing, and make a gracious exit. They deserve to be happy, and to move on. But, if you are looming in their life, they will find it difficult to reclaim it.
7. The one who uses you as their emotional anchor
There are exes who keep you on speed dial long after they shouldn’t. You remain their SOS call when they’re in trouble. Now, why is this unhealthy? After all, that’s what friends do, right? Be there for each other? Sure. If your friendship with this ex is balanced by healthy interactions, and comprises of more than just SOS calls, then great. But, there are people who will call you only in times of emotional crises, and if this person happens to be an ex, understand that this is their way of still maintaining an emotional connection with you, and holding you responsible for their well-being and happiness. You are not their saviour!
8. The one who has too much to say about who you date after them
Be wary of this one! Very wary! They don’t want you to move on.
