Most of us have evolved and now, we don’t have breakups that are like war.
Our relationships may look like a battlefield but when we part ways, we wave a white flag.
You know, because we both have so much dirt on each other, if we go around playing a game of vengeance, we’d be socially destroyed.
Also, we feel like the bigger person who is just a breakup away from enlightenment. Too bad, that’s not really the way to get enlightened.
But with that decision of having a cordial breakup, comes the possibility of having breakup sex. You know, because unlike your relationship, the sex was still good.
What’s the harm in having sex one last time? You think it will be a nice way to end things on a good note. But it’s far more complicated than that.
Here’s what no one tells you about breakup sex so I thought I should.
1. It may not give you closure
If this was a movie, it would begin with a scene of your 70-year-old self, reminiscing about the beautiful night that you had with your ex-lover. You would think of it fondly and smile and then go on to think about the fulfilling life you had without him. But in real life, breakup sex doesn’t always give you the closure you expected out of it. Because you know what does give closure? Talking things out. So do it just for fun, not for closure, if you do.
2. In fact, it can bring back feelings
When you have sex, you’re brimming with love hormones making you forget about all the reasons you were breaking up in the first place. You feel loved and all those kisses healed you for a bit. It can bring back feelings and make you wonder if you really need to breakup. It’s worse if one person feels that way and the other doesn’t. That breakup hurts even more.
3. The sex can be really great but also really thanda
We are psychologically programmed to feel very passionately about someone we know we are losing. You know this is probably the last time you’re getting to hold him, so you hold him tighter. You try out moves and positions you always wanted to and make it a night to remember. Or…you could feel disinterested already and feel resentment towards them. Expect any outcome!
4. There’s a chance this won’t be the last time
If the sex went well and if your willpower is shit, you will be tempted to do it again. The thing is that if you decide to remain cordial after a breakup, you will meet again because it’s difficult to not. Then one thing will lead to another and you will find your tongues playing tennis. You can easily go from a couple to friends with benefits. So if you don’t want that, be careful.
5. It can delay healing
To heal from a breakup, you do need a certain level of resentment for your ex. If you left at a lovey-dovey note, it gets so difficult to move on. You keep wondering about what could have been. You will be thinking of your last sex sesh and listening to sad songs. Nope. Doesn’t help.
