Life wouldn’t be half as interesting while growing up, if you didn’t have friends to co-shoulder your silly crimes and share your favourite cookies or fight over it.
As time passes by we tend to drift away from our childhood friends due to various reasons—career, relocation, adulthood, family and so on.
Sometimes friends just become memories that bring on an out-of-context smile in the middle of something important.
However, at times we do get opportunities to revive old friendships but after the initial contact the efforts might fall flat. Here’s how to re-establish that bond and stay friends forever literally.
1. Reach out the right way
Find a common friend that both of you are in touch with. This will help bridge the gap. You can ask the friend to connect you two over phone, Whatsapp or Facebook. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility then try searching your friend online on common social media platforms. Once you track her, send a casual message or mail. Wait for her to respond. If it’s been long since you spoke then she might just be taken off guard and would need time. She may or may not want to connect again if you parted over a tiff. Whatever her decision, show respect.
2. Do not be over eager
It’s fine to be persistent, which means you can send a message again after a gap. But do not try to bombard her with messages or mails. If your friend doesn’t respond don’t rush give her time.
3. Plan a short first meeting
Your friend would have significantly changed since the last time you saw her. The first meeting may not be as great as you thought it to be. Never expect to get as close to her as you were initially. To avoid long awkward silences, try to keep the first meeting short. Meet for coffee or lunch at a bustling cafe, this will allow you to interact more casually.
4. Cherish and reminiscence good old memories
Talk about the good time you both have spent together. Go through old photographs together or visit the same places that you went to as children. This will help both of you re-establish the camaraderie that you once shared.
5. Guard yourself from disappointment
Often when you meet your friend after a long gap you realise that apart from your shared history there’s nothing more to talk about. No common interests and you can’t seem to relate with the person who sits before you. Major events like job, marriage do change individuals and more often than not they may not be comfortable in sharing their life with someone they meet like a bolt out of the past. If faced with a situation like this, the best way to skirt disappointment is to tell yourself that this is what you expected and it may take time to get to know this particular friend all over again.
6. Show interest
The best way to tell your friend that you value her is by being a patient listener to whatever she says. She may or not be doing as incredibly well as you in life but she still was one of your closest friends, so show her that respect. This goes a long way in rebuilding trust.
7. Follow up the first meeting with solid plans
If you realise your friendship could be rekindled then don’t lose time contemplating on what to do next. Make plans and try to catch up soon. But do stick to your plans. If you aren’t free on the day you promised to meet then instead of lunch meet up for coffee, don’t cancel it. If you do have to cancel then fix up another date and do show up. If she calls with a plan respond positively. Continually turning down opportunities can spoil chances of rekindling the friendship.
