Are you planning to have children? Before you do, have you thought about why you want to have kids?
Parenting is not an easy job and raising kids requires you to be fully prepared for it.
It is important to discuss your purpose for having children with your partner before you try to get pregnant.
Here are 5 wrong reasons many people believe in to have children:
1. ”Our parents want to see their grandchildren”
You may be pressured by your parents or parents-in-law to bestow them with their grandchildren. However, ultimately it is you who will be the parent to the child, which is why it is important to have kids when you want them, not when your parents or in-laws do. Some wanna-be grandparents may also tell you that they would take care of your future children. However, if you want to raise happy kids, you need to be an involved parent.
2. “We thought it would help our marriage and bring us closer”
When a married couple is going through a rough phase, many people might advise you to have a baby, arguing that the child will help you both forget your worries and act as an agent to increase your bonding with your partner. While this may help, if it doesn’t, it can worsen your situation and make parenting burdensome or lonely.
3. “It is the only way to prove I am a man/woman”
Since we live in a society where having children is a norm after marriage, if you plan against it, people may gossip that you may not be able to bear a child as a woman, or may not be able to impregnate your wife as a man. Fear of these rumors may push couples to have children soon after marriage, irrespective of whether they truly want kids right now or not.
4. “We don’t want to be different from other families”
A lot of married couples end up having children due to societal pressure. In a few years after their marriage, most people around them keep asking for any update on the “good news”. You should not have children just because “everyone is having them.” It is important for you to be physically, mentally, finally and emotionally ready for kids – and this applies to both the parents.
5. “I want my child to get the things in their life that I never had”
Almost everyone has dreams that never get fulfilled. However, your future child is not your means to achieve things in life that you missed out on. They will have an individual identity of their own, and their dreams and goals may or may not align with what you want them to achieve in their life. If you are not clear about this, your children might feel burdened with your pending dreams.
