Do not ever expect these things from your in-laws

Since childhood we have heard people and famous Hollywood dialogues saying, Marriage is the knot that ties not only the two souls who are getting married but it also ties the two families that are getting involved in the connection.

The families have a lot to expect from each other. There are compromises, arguments, and sometimes things even lead to separation.

Here are some tips on what to never expect from your in-laws, which might save your relationship with your partner.

The relationship that you share with your in-laws is dependent on what you make out of it. Presumably your in-laws won’t be knowing about what you like or do or how of a person you are. Do not expect them to understand you even before you share about yourself. Early on in your relationship bring about this topic to discussion and create a boundary that is both, your private peace and respectful to the family.

If you discover that you don’t always agree with your in-laws’ behaviour or way of living or in general, don’t expect them to change their behaviour according to what you would have wanted. Try and find ways that would help you both thrive and don’t overlap each other. Avoid the tension and find out solutions that would work both ways. For example, if your time for waking up doesn’t match, neither expect the other person to change nor change yourself if that is what suits you.

There are points in your journey of transitioning from your birth family to your married family where you will realise that the actions or feelings that you have for your in-laws might not be reciprocated on the same level by them. You might be the one calling them everyday to know how they are, they might not. Accept this and move on. Give someone only that much that it feels okay, even if they don’t give back to you.

There are going to be times when you share things about yourself or your family or your work or anything which is personal to you, before doing that observe whether your inlaws tend to share things with you or not. If it is going one way, there seems to be no point in sharing things. Never ask them to share things that they did not want to. There could be a fight amongst your partner’s family about which you might not be aware or nobody told you anything, don’t take it personally. Sometimes people want to keep secrets within the family and so do you.

If you have been compromising yourself to fulfil the needs and wants of the other family members don’t expect it back. If you find yourself coming home tired from work and still cooking in the kitchen or having to go out on a family get together, but your in-laws won’t go to a function with you, even if they are not busy. You can say that you have become a silent compromiser. Pay attention to what someone would do for you and then construct your actions accordingly.