In recent months, the topic of the experiences of “eldest daughters” has been trending, with many firstborn girls and women sharing their experiences and responsibilities.
The “eldest daughter syndrome” is the emotional and physical burdens placed on the oldest daughters by their family members.
According to Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist based in New York City, many eldest daughters find themselves shouldering responsibilities such as caring for younger siblings and managing household tasks from a young age.
Licencing marriage and family therapist Kati Morton spoke about the eight signs of “eldest daughter syndrome” in a TikTok video, which has gotten over 6 million views. Morton outlined the following eight signs of “eldest daughter syndrome”
Signs of eldest daughter syndrome
1. Intense sense of responsibility
She might not have the same carefree attitude as her younger ones, but she is constantly bothered about taking care of everyone and everything.
2. Overachievement and high drive
Eldest daughters have an immense drive to succeed, not wanting to disappoint their family members so they can take care of themselves and others.
3. The tendency towards worry and anxiety
With great responsibility comes a lot of worry and excitement; she might worry herself sick about the welfare of others. During events like weddings and parties, she is also burdened with the responsibility.
4. Struggles with people-pleasing
An eldest daughter has been catering to people all her life; she might discover that even in other relationships that are not with family members, she might want them to like her and might do anything to get their approval.
5. Difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries
She might let people take advantage of her, as she is used to giving unreservedly without any inhibition.
6. Feelings of resentment towards siblings and family
She might secretly harbour resentment towards her family members for ‘bribing’ her of her childhood and taking on a lot of responsibility.
7. Struggles with guilt
The feeling of resentment might lead to guilt, especially if not addressed.
8. Challenges in adult relationships
She might struggle with her relationship because of a lack of boundaries and feelings of resentment and guilt.
There are positives to being the eldest daughter. It has been shown that they have excellent leadership, organizational, and time management skills.
Finally, eldest daughter syndrome” is not an official mental health diagnosis since experiences differ.
