How to know if your child is hiding something worrisome

As parents, it can be incredibly unsettling to realize that their children are keeping worrisome issues from them.

Parents strive to create a safe and supportive environment for their kids where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns.

However, there are several reasons why kids may choose to hide something troubling, which can leave parents feeling frustrated and unsure of how to help.

One common reason is fear of consequences.

Children may worry that admitting to a mistake or a problem will result in punishment or disappointment from their parents. This fear can be particularly strong if they have faced harsh reactions in the past. As parents, it’s important to emphasize that mistakes are a part of learning and growth.

Peer pressure and social influences also play a significant role. Children may hide issues because they fear judgment or ridicule from their peers if certain information become known. They may worry about losing friends or being perceived differently by their social circle. In these situations, creating an open and non-judgmental environment at home can encourage children to confide in parents without fear of negative consequences.

Developmental factors such as growing independence and autonomy can lead children to test boundaries and assert their individuality. They may want to prove their ability to handle problems independently or feel embarrassed about needing help. As parents, it’s important to strike a balance between allowing them to assert their independence while also reassuring them that seeking support and guidance is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Communication barriers can also contribute to children hiding worrisome issues. They may struggle to articulate their feelings or may not know how to approach sensitive topics. It’s essential for parents to initiate open and honest conversations regularly, actively listen to our children’s concerns, and create opportunities for them to express themselves comfortably.

“If you suspect your child is hiding something troubling, look for behavioural changes such as withdrawal, secrecy, or unusual anger/sadness. For example, if your normally outgoing child becomes reclusive, spend quality time together and express concern gently. Noticeable declines in academic performance, like a high achiever starting to fail and quitting activities, call for meeting with teachers, offering support, and considering tutoring.

Watch for physical signs like changes in sleep, appetite, or unexplained injuries. If your child has trouble sleeping, skips meals, or shows bruises, ask about their well-being, encourage healthy habits, and consult a healthcare professional if needed. Changes in social interactions are also significant. If your child stops seeing old friends and starts hanging out with a new group, show interest in their new friends, organise family activities, and provide guidance on handling peer pressure. Be mindful of their online activities. If your child quickly closes browser windows or seems upset after using their phone, set clear internet use guidelines, discuss online dangers, and use parental controls.

Create a supportive environment where your child feels safe to share their feelings, encourage open communication, practice active listening, monitor social life, and ensure online awareness. If troubling behaviors persist, seek professional help from a counselor.

Early intervention is key to addressing underlying issues and ensuring your child’s well-being.