How hating others can hurt your relationships

Hating someone often comes from a space of pain or insecurity.

A person who’s touted as hateful may be someone battling their own demons, struggling to control their emotions, and desperate to unload their hidden traumas.

Feeling and holding onto hate is an uncomfortable feeling that can prevent you from feeling positive emotions and love from even your loved ones.

Hating too many people can also make you distant with people you want to love and nurture. Hating others does not make the situation better for you, it only erodes relationships and burns bridges.

A study published in the Journal of relationships research surveyed people in both the United States and Norway about their personal loving relationships, and found that hatred leaves a lasting deleterious impression on interpersonal relationships.

The research found out that people are more likely to report less intimacy, satisfaction, and love with people they have previously hated.

Here are ways hating others may be hurting your own relationships:

Holding on to so much hate, anger, and other negative emotions can keep your cortisol levels on overdrive and overstimulate your nervous system. This can trigger a ‘fight or flight’ response, which means any communication with your loved ones can end in you yelling or lashing out at them. Even if you do not intend to, these heightened emotional states can lead to unintended conflicts and strain your relationships.

Hating someone takes up a lot of your energy. Constantly thinking about someone or something you hate can take a toll and lead to anxiety, restlessness, obsessive thinking, and paranoia, all the patterns that can affect your mental health. When you are mentally not there for your partner, you may be depriving them of your love and attention, which can impact your relationships.

You can either focus on love or hate, not both at the same time. Being in love triggers emotions like gratitude, warmth, and compassion, while hating someone does the opposite and leads to bitterness, resentment, and hostility. Choosing love allows you to nurture positive relationships and maintain emotional well-being, whereas holding onto hate can erode connections and diminish your overall happiness.