A parent never intends to play favourites with his or her children.
However, there will always be that one child, with whom they tend to gel better or for whom they’ll always have a soft corner.
This is of course not intentional and sometimes parents don’t even realise it. Also, this does not mean they treat their other kids badly or anything less, rather they’re all the same for them.
It just comes down to who they share a better understanding with, who matches up to their energy and more.
So, if you’re still not sure what it means to play favourites, here are some signs that will tell you!
1. You’re always telling others about one child’s achievement
Boasting about your child’s achievement and successes is completely human. After all, who wouldn’t want to do that? But when you particularly talk about and discuss just one of your children, it could be a sign that you’re playing favourites. It does not mean that you think less of your other children’s capabilities. Just that you feel happier talking about one.
2. When your younger one always gets away with everything
One factor that often impacts a parent’s attitude towards their children is their birth order. Most of the time, the youngest is always the one who gets the most attention, which is partly understandable, given that they’re small and need more guidance. But if your child is getting away with every mischief and if you find yourself giving the same excuse and backing them up for being the youngest, then it could be a tell-tale sign of favouritism.
3. You’re more at ease around your favorite
Do you feel relaxed or more at ease around one child specifically? Are you more in your element when you’re with this particular child? Then he or she could be your favourite. Comfort and calm is something every parent seeks and if that is the vibe you’re getting from one of your children specifically, then probably they’re your favourite to be with.
4. You might take one child’s side in a fight or an argument
One golden rule of parenting is that you should never take sides when it comes to kids. However, if you find yourself going against this fundamental rule, then you may have given away who your favourite child is. Surely, you can intervene in your child’s matter, even back one child you are not at fault. But if you constantly speak for one of your children, even when they’re wrong, then you could be playing favourites.
5. Who do you have more secret talks with?
Parents have a hard time managing everything. From their household chores to parenting to their professional world, it can be chaotic, which is why having someone to talk to is always nice and comforting. While quality time with kids is something every parent seeks, quality conversation is something they look forward to too. And sometimes, that’s just limited to one of their children. If you happen to have that one child who you love having your secret talks with, who you think can be trusted, then they may be your favourite.
6. Getting defensive when questioned about favouritism can be a sign too
Intentionally or unintentionally, parents don’t like to be accused of playing favourites. But one of the things that gives them away is how they react to being accused of playing favourites. Those who really have no favourites and treat all their kids equally are likely to have a very composed and calm reaction to it, whereas, parents who are even a little guilty or conscious about it, may get defensive and uncomfortable when the topic of favoritism comes up.
