The “talking stage” is often seen as a necessary but frustrating phase in modern dating.
It’s that period where you’re getting to know someone new, figuring out if there’s a connection, but not yet committed to anything serious.
While it’s an essential step, it can be a bit of a drag. Here are four reasons why nobody really enjoys the talking stage:
1. Sharing your favourite colour yet again
One of the first questions in the talking stage is often something simple like, “What’s your favourite colour?” It’s harmless, but after you’ve been through the dating cycle a few times, the repetition can feel tedious.
You find yourself answering the same basic questions over and over, which can make the whole process feel more like a chore than an exciting new adventure.
2. Telling your story all over again
Every time you meet someone new, you have to go through the process of introducing yourself—your background, your hobbies, your job, your likes and dislikes.
It can feel like you’re giving the same monologue on repeat, and it gets tiring to keep summarising who you are without knowing if the other person will even stick around.
3. Starting all over again
Building a connection with someone new can be exciting, but it also means starting from scratch. You have to learn about their interests, their quirks, and their past, which takes time and effort.
The prospect of investing all this energy into getting to know someone, especially if you’ve been through it many times before, can make the talking stage feel more like a job interview than a potential romance.
4. Wondering if it will lead anywhere
Perhaps the biggest frustration with the talking stage is the uncertainty of where it will lead. You could invest days, weeks, or even months in getting to know someone, only for it to fizzle out or go nowhere.
The fear that all the time and effort might be wasted makes it hard to fully engage in the process, leaving you questioning whether it’s worth it from the start.
While the talking stage is a crucial part of dating, it’s easy to see why so many people dislike it. The repetition, the endless self-introductions, the challenge of getting to know someone new, and the uncertainty of it all can make the talking stage feel more like a chore than the start of something exciting.
But even with its downsides, it’s a necessary step toward finding someone who truly clicks with you.
