In our frantic-paced lives, some are led to desire acceptance and approval more than others. This makes many put others’ needs first.
Largely appreciative, being considerate is, but constantly trying to please everyone can have very adverse effects on your mental well-being.
People pleasing is this habit that might serve short-term gratification but a lifetime unfavourable consequence.
Littered from losing your identity to being weighed down by stress, these disadvantages are quite salient.
Here are five strong arguments on why you should reevaluate this propensity of putting other people first and start considering putting yourself first.
1. Loss of identity
Constant adaptation to meet the expectations of others risks losing sight of self. Confusion may arise about what you value, want, or aim for in life over time. So embracing your identity is very fundamental in personal development and fulfilment.
2. Increased stress and anxiety
This desire to please everybody can be tiring. Compromise on different opinions and preferences may increase tension or anxiety levels. Instead of focusing on making yourself happy, you may get obsessed with the fear of disappointing others.
3. Creating resentment
Where a people-pleaser will feel full of satisfaction at first, over time it often sours into resentment. Constant ignoring of the need will many times leave the martyr feeling unloved or unappreciated in the long run and can very well be toxic to the relationship.
4. Unable to set boundaries
People-pleasing often involves a reluctance to set boundaries, and it is very easy to take advantage of you. Without defined boundaries, you will most likely be overwhelmed by obligations that waste your energy and time. Giving oneself permission to say “no” is an essential step toward more healthy relationships.
5. Lack of maturity
You may get limited scope for personal growth when focusing on the needs of others and keeping their satisfaction at the cost of your own. Growth is usually associated with living out of comfort zone and pursuing one’s interests. Facilitating the needs of others may stunt one’s ability to seek new experiences and paths.
