Dating is a crucial phase of any romantic relationship. It’s during these moments that you get to know your partner, understand their values, and see if your personalities align.
But how often should you date when you’ve just started seeing someone? And more importantly, what types of dates should you prioritise before committing to a serious relationship?
How often should you go on dates when you’ve just started seeing someone?
When you’ve just started dating, the frequency of dates can set the tone for the relationship.
According to a “Psychology Today” article citing relationship expert Dr Seth Meyers, a healthy pace in the early stages of dating is about 1–2 dates per week.
This allows both partners to gradually get to know each other without overwhelming the relationship dynamics. However, it’s important to communicate and gauge each other’s availability and interest levels.
Why 1–2 dates per week?
1. Balance between excitement and space: Seeing each other once or twice a week helps maintain the excitement of the relationship without rushing into things too quickly. It gives each person time to reflect on their feelings and enjoy personal space.
2. Avoiding burnout: Going on too many dates too quickly can lead to emotional burnout. By pacing yourselves, you allow the relationship to grow organically.
3. Building anticipation: Having time between dates can build a sense of anticipation and excitement for the next time you meet — a crucial element for developing a strong romantic connection.
Essential dates to experience before committing
Before committing to a long-term relationship, it’s important to experience a variety of dates that allow you to observe your partner in different situations. Here are some key types of dates every couple should go on:
1. The casual coffee date: A simple coffee date can reveal a lot about a person’s day-to-day personality. It’s low-pressure and allows you to have meaningful conversations in a relaxed environment.
According to relationship therapist Esther Perel, coffee dates are a great way to see how well conversation flows naturally and whether there’s a genuine connection.
Why it’s important:
A coffee date gives you the chance to talk without distractions.
It’s a good opportunity to gauge each other’s social skills and sense of humour.
2. The adventure date: Trying something new together, such as hiking, kayaking, or attending a cooking class, is a great way to see how your partner handles challenges and spontaneity.
Dr Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, suggests that engaging in exciting or adrenaline-pumping activities can increase feelings of attraction.
Why it’s important:
Adventure dates help you see how your partner reacts to new experiences.
It fosters teamwork and communication, both essential in long-term relationships.
3. The group date: Introducing your partner to your friends and seeing how they interact in a group setting is crucial. How someone behaves around others can provide insight into their social adaptability and respect for your social circle.
Why it’s important:
Group dates show how well your partner fits into your world.
It allows you to observe their behaviour in social situations outside the one-on-one dynamic.
4. The dinner and movie date: This classic date allows for both casual conversation and shared experiences.
A dinner date gives you the chance to enjoy each other’s company, and watching a movie afterwards can be a fun way to see what types of films or entertainment you both enjoy.
Why it’s important:
A dinner date provides a setting for deeper conversation and connection.
Watching a movie together can help you bond over mutual interests or preferences.
5. The conflict resolution date: While this isn’t technically a “date” in the traditional sense, having a disagreement and resolving it together is a critical experience. Couples could visit an escape room.
This allows you to see how your partner handles and resolves conflict — do they communicate calmly, or do they shut down?
According to psychologist John Gottman, couples who handle conflict well early in the relationship are more likely to have long-term success.
Why it’s important:
Conflict resolution skills are essential for any healthy relationship.
Observing how you both handle disagreements can determine compatibility.
Dating is a beautiful and exciting journey, but it’s important to pace yourself, especially when you’ve just started seeing someone.
As you progress, make sure to experience a variety of dates — from casual coffee outings to more adventurous or intimate stay-in evenings.
These experiences will give you valuable insight into your partner’s personality, values, and how well you mesh together.
