Children return from school after quite a long and exhausting day attending classes, solving sums, socializing, noting down homework and so many things.
After all this they need to just relax, get some safety at home, share their experiences within a stress free environment.
There are certain conversations if done immediately after children return to their homes, which may sometimes be a mood spoiler.
This is the time when we should be careful about what we are discussing with children to create a supportive and encouraging atmosphere at home.
Here are some conversations best avoided right after they get back from school.
1. Avoid rushed or overloaded conversations
Sometimes, parents feel the need to discuss everything at once—school, behavior, future plans, and chores—all within the first few minutes after their child returns home. This can be overwhelming. Instead, create a calm and welcoming space where children can share their thoughts at their own pace. Let them feel that home is a place of comfort and security rather than an extension of their academic pressures
2. Gossip or negative talk about teachers and friends
Children learn from the way parents speak about others. If a child hears negative comments about their teachers, school policies, or friends, they may develop a disrespectful attitude toward authority figures or peers. Instead, if a child expresses a problem, guide them in handling the situation maturely rather than reinforcing negative perspectives
3. Forcing them to complete homework as soon as they return
One of the most common mistakes parents make is immediately questioning their child about homework as soon as they step through the door. While academics are important, bombarding children with questions like, “Did you score well on your math test?” or “Why did you make mistakes in the assignment?” can create unnecessary stress. Instead, allow them to share their school experiences at their own pace. If they feel comfortable, they will open up about their achievements and challenges naturally.
4. Discussing complaint received from school
If a teacher has communicated a problem with regard to your child’s behavior or performance, it is best not to bring it up right away. Kids are probably already aware of whatever problems they encounter during the day. Bringing these issues up right after school can make them feel attacked or defensive. Wait instead for an appropriate time, such as after they have relaxed, and eaten something. When addressing concerns, use a constructive and supportive tone rather than a critical one
5. Do not burden them with chores and responsibilities
Although it is important to teach children about responsibility, immediately reminding them about chores when they return from school can be overwhelming. If they hear “Clean your room right now!” or “Why haven’t you finished your household duties yet?” as soon as they arrive, it can feel like an additional burden. Give them some time to unwind before gently reminding them about their responsibilities in a positive and motivating manner.
6. Don’t scold them if they have soiled their clothes
Children, especially as they grow older, are increasingly conscious of their appearance. Making comments about their looks, such as “Why is your uniform so messy?” or “You look tired and unkempt,” can make them feel self-conscious. If something needs to be addressed, do so with care and encouragement rather than criticism. Instead of saying, “Your shoes are dirty again,” try “Let’s clean up your shoes together so they look neat for tomorrow.
7. Do not start discussing your stress with kids
Children are naturally empathetic and sensitive to their parents’ emotions. If a parent immediately starts venting about work stress, financial issues, or other personal problems, it can create a negative environment for the child. This may lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or helplessness, as they might not fully understand the complexities of adult problems. Instead, try to maintain a positive and welcoming atmosphere when they return and share concerns in a balanced manner at an appropriate time.
Creating a positive after-school routine
Instead of these stressful conversations, here are some positive approaches to engage with children when they return from school:
Warm welcome: Greet them with a smile and a simple “How was your day?” to show genuine interest.
Listening first: Let them share their experiences before bringing up any concerns.
Healthy snack time: Offer a nutritious snack to refuel their energy and boost their mood.
Relaxation and play: Allow some time for relaxation, hobbies, or outdoor play before diving into homework or discussions.
Encouragement and praise: Highlight their strengths and efforts rather than just focusing on results
