Lending money to family and friends sounds like a kind and generous thing to do. After all, if you have extra cash and someone you care about is struggling, it only makes sense to help, right?
But here’s the harsh truth: money and relationships rarely mix well.
Many friendships and family ties have been destroyed because of loans that were never repaid, expectations that were not met, and awkward conversations that followed. The moment money enters the picture, things get complicated.
1. Most people never pay back
Let’s be honest, most personal loans from family and friends don’t get repaid. The sad part? The borrower almost never feels the same sense of urgency as they would with a bank.
Unlike banks, you won’t send them constant reminders or charge them interest. And since they know you personally, they assume you won’t take drastic action against them.
How many times have you heard, “I’ll send it next week,” but next week never comes. “I haven’t been paid yet,” but they just bought new shoes, or “You have more money than me, so you don’t really need it,” as if your money is their business.
If you don’t want to become a debt collector, avoid lending money in the first place.
2. It creates awkwardness and resentment
The moment you lend someone money, your relationship changes. Suddenly, things feel uncomfortable. You start seeing them differently, and they start seeing you as their creditor instead of their friend or relative.
If they don’t pay back on time, you’ll feel irritated.
If they avoid you, you’ll feel disrespected.
If they buy new things before repaying you, you’ll feel betrayed.
And guess what? They will also start feeling uncomfortable around you. They might dodge your calls, avoid meeting you, or act weird when money is mentioned.
3. It sets a bad precedent
The moment you lend someone money, you open the floodgates for future requests. If you say yes once, they will assume you’ll say yes again.
It starts small—maybe your friend borrows ₦5000 and promises to return it next week. They don’t. But since you don’t want to seem petty, you let it slide. Next time, they ask for ₦20,000. Before you know it, they’re treating you like their personal ATM.
And here’s the worst part, the more you lend, the less likely they are to take responsibility for their own finances. Instead of learning to manage their money wisely, they keep running to you whenever they have a problem.
Don’t be that person who finances other people’s bad financial decisions.
4. You might never get your own money when you need it
One of the biggest risks of lending money is that you don’t know when you’ll need it back.
You might think, “It’s just a small amount, I can do without it.” But what happens when an emergency hits? Suddenly, you need your money back, but the person who borrowed it doesn’t have it, doesn’t care, or simply ignores your calls.
This happens more often than you think. Life is unpredictable, and the money you gave away could be the money you desperately need tomorrow.
Wouldn’t it be frustrating to watch someone else enjoy your money while you’re struggling?
5. Saying no is better than losing the relationship
Most people lend money because they feel guilty saying no. But saying no from the start is easier than chasing someone for repayment later.
Trust me, it’s better to say no now than to lose a good relationship over money later.
