Parenting is hard enough. But raising a child in today’s world, with access to phones, Netflix, TikTok, and more soft life than most adults had growing up, makes it even trickier to know where to draw the line.Many parents confuse love with indulgence. They give and give and give, hoping to make their children happy and comfortable, only to wake up one day and realise they’ve created a mini monster who throws tantrums when you say “no.”
You might think your child is just confident, outspoken, or expressive. But sometimes, these traits are masking a deeper issue: entitlement.
Here’s how to tell the difference and catch the signs before it becomes a bigger problem.
1. They always want their way and throw a fit when they don’t get it
Children will cry. It’s normal. But if your child always cries, argues, or throws tantrums every time something doesn’t go their way, it could be a sign of entitlement, not just emotion.A spoiled child doesn’t know how to handle disappointment. Why? Because they’ve rarely had to deal with it. Every time they whine, you give in. Every time they complain, you fix it. Over time, they learn that bad behaviour gets results.
2. They don’t say “please” or “thank you”
Manners aren’t just about being polite; they’re about understanding that people aren’t obligated to serve you. When your child expects things without ever acknowledging kindness or effort, that’s a problem.If “thank you” never leaves their lips and they act like your hard work is their right, that’s not confidence, that’s spoiled behaviour.
3. They always want more, no matter what you give them
You bought them a toy? They want two. You gave them meat pie? They’re asking for pizza. You just got them a new outfit? Now they want an iPad.No matter how much you give, it’s never enough. Spoiled kids tend to see life as a vending machine. Insert request, receive reward. They haven’t learned contentment or gratitude, and that can become a serious issue in adulthood.
4. They talk to adults rudely, including you
Respect is a core value in Nigerian culture. And while we’re now raising more expressive kids (which is a good thing), there’s a difference between boldness and rudeness.
If your child insults you, ignores you when you correct them, or rolls their eyes at adults, it’s a red flag. Spoiled children often lack boundaries because no one taught them where the line is.
5. They don’t like sharing and refuse to consider other people’s feelings
Whether it’s toys, snacks, or attention, spoiled kids want it all to themselves. And when others ask for a turn or a bite, they act like it’s the end of the world.
They might even guilt-trip or manipulate others to get their way. If your child always plays the victim or tries to control every situation, it might be time for a serious conversation.
How to unspoil a child
Unspoiling a child doesn’t mean becoming a military-style parent or snatching away every good thing they enjoy. It’s about striking the right balance between love and limits, fun and responsibility, freedom and accountability.A spoiled child often believes the world revolves around them because they’ve never been taught otherwise. So, the key to “unspoiling” isn’t harsh punishment, it’s intentional parenting. One that prioritises character over comfort.
Here are a few intentional parenting tips that help set spoiled children on a better path:
1. Say “no”
Say “no” sometimes. It won’t kill them. In fact, it teaches boundaries and the reality that life won’t always say yes.
2. Let them earn it
Let them work for things. Allow them to earn that snack, toy, or privilege. It builds a work ethic and appreciation.
3. Teach empathy
Teach them empathy. Ask, “How do you think that made your sister feel?” or “What would you do if that happened to you?”
4. Praise efforts
Praise effort, not just results. Celebrate the studying, the attempt, the practice, not just the A grade.
5. Be intentional about how you approach tantrums
Don’t bribe your way out of tantrums. If they cry and you offer ice cream, they’ll learn that bad behaviour brings rewards.Remember, being firm doesn’t make you a wicked parent; it makes you a wise one. Kids who learn respect, gratitude, and self-control early are more likely to succeed in a world that won’t always hand them what they want.The goal isn’t to raise a perfect child. It’s to raise one who can hear “no,” wait their turn, show kindness, and still believe they’re loved.
