Love is the best… until a breakup happens. Then it’s the absolute worst.
Whether we’re casual daters or serial monogamists, we can all agree that while being single for indefinite periods of time can be boring and frustrating, it can be pretty awesome too.
Learning to find happiness without someone else is one of life’s greatest gifts, but how do you get there?
Here’s how to cope with being single if you’re struggling on your own — and why it might be a good idea to roll solo for a bit anyway.
1. Make sure you’re not alone all the time
It’s a huge misconception that single girls are lonely ones who have no people in their lives at all. You have awesome friends and family, right? So make sure you see them as often as you can. Schedule weekly drinks dates with your best friends and have dinner with your parents. Having fun social plans with others will make you feel better.
2. But learn to like being alone when you are
Whether you’re into binge-watching or breaking a sweat, it’s a good idea to find activities that you can do by yourself that you enjoy. You will have more free time than you’re used to, so why not find something you love?
3. Go see the movies by yourself
This is actually one of the most fun things to do in the whole world. You get to see exactly the movie that you want, no one will complain that you’re taking too long deciding between popcorn and Sour Patch Kids (you’re getting both), and you can enjoy the film in peace. Plus, you actually get to watch the movie. It’s not code for something else entirely. Think of how cultured you’ll be.
4. Be your own ‘plus one’
It might feel weird to go to things alone if you’ve always got a plus-one. You’ll have some awkward moments where you don’t know anyone and it’ll force you to make small talk with strangers, which isn’t a bad skill to have. It’s scary, but it’s the good kind of fear. You will go home feeling proud of yourself for being brave.
5. Work on your confidence
The most beautiful women are ones who are bursting with happiness, and part of being happy is having tons of confidence. Do what you can to build yourself up: chill out at yoga, tone up in a barre class, and get the Zooey Deschanel bangs you’ve always wanted.
6. Ask yourself what type of relationship you want
It’s easy to get caught up in your boyfriend when you’re in love and to think that things could never get any more perfect, so take advantage of your newly single status and take the time to figure out what you’re really looking for. Maybe you had something close, but there were too many petty arguments to really work things out, or something bigger led to the breakup. Examine your history and think about your future.
7. Focus on building your best life
It’s totally possible to create an amazing, full life that doesn’t always include having a boyfriend. Dream big and reach your goals. Work hard at a career that makes you want to get up in the a.m. Get closer with your already super close friends, go away some weekends, learn to cook awesome dinners and find a work-out that is more fun than work. You won’t mind being single if you really love what you have going on.
8. Date with zero expectations
Some people believe it’s best to have no expectations so you don’t get hurt. While that’s definitely no way to live because what’s a life without hope, there is some merit to the idea when it comes to dating. We all know how bad first dates can be, so try to relax about it and your perfect match will materialize when it’s time. You’ll truly be a super cool single girl, because you’ll be able to see bad dates as simply good stories for your best friend, not the end of the world.
9. Stay put for a while
You already know that traveling is fun, it broadens your horizons, blah blah blah. And so many breakup guides advise getting out there and seeing the world. But is that really all that helpful when you’re struggling to cope with being single? You don’t know just how cozy you can make your apartment and how you can actually redefine a fun Sunday as one spent baking gluten-free and vegan bread. Become a homebody and make your house an actual home.
10. Indulge in some single woman stereotypes
Ice cream for dinner, reading a juicy romance novel in a bubble bath (while talking on the phone – somehow these mythical women never drop the phone in the bath the way I definitely would), dancing when the mood strikes you. These may be cheesy and not always realistic but you deserve to have some fun. And once you discover the joys of not having to explain to anyone that, yes, you really did just spend your entire Saturday evening with The Real Housewives, your single woman education will be complete.
