We all are work-in-progress, whether as individuals in general or parents in particular.
Being work-in-progress, deep inside we know parts of personality which we wish to declutter and improve.
So when we come across content like “this video will change your entire life,” we click on it. But did it change anything?
Enter Kaizen. Kaizen is a Japanese term meaning ‘change for the better’ or ‘continuous improvement’.
This philosophy could be your pot of gold, whether in business or parenting. Kaizen believes in small habits which are easy to do, to eventually create bigger impacts.
These micro-habits hardly require any intense willpower and in time, become a natural part of your behaviour.
So if you wish to become the best-version parent of yourself, start implementing these small, daily habits.
You can add to this list, as you master some of these basic, healthy habits.
1. Make your daily first interaction happy
This is a super underrated gem of advice that you must start following first thing tomorrow morning, if you already don’t. Whenever you greet your child for the first time everyday, make sure it is something sweet or happy, basically positive. A simple smile will do!
This tiny habit will beautify your relationship with them and they will want to come to you, whenever they wake up, even as teens or young adults. On the other hand, if you yell at them to wake them up, to do homework or clean up their messy room, your kid will just have an awful start to your day, and this can bitter the relationship you share.
2. Acknowledge their feelings first when they get upset
If your child is angry or upset and expressive and unable to get a hang of themselves, they might raise their voice or throw things around. Your very first instinct may be to ask them to get quiet and sit down. Have you used the popular “Go to your room” dialogue? This would not help because you are targeting their behaviour and not their feelings.
The key is to calmly address their emotions so that they would calm down and be able to clearly explain what is bothering them.
3. Teach good and bad behaviour as a choice
As a parent, there is no doubt you would want to raise a good child who behaves well and respects others. You would not want your kid to be inconsiderate, or someone who hurts others or tries to bully or demean them.
The goal is clear, but the methods can get tricky. One effective technique is to make them understand that being good or bad is a matter of choice, which can help them consciously choose to become better and good. This can be done by saying things like, “Good choice, sharing your ice-cream with your sister.”
4. Breathe when you want to yell
This situation is a tricky one, where all parents will feel trapped. Now you can get caught, or free yourselves from the eventual guilt of yelling at your child with hit-temper and saying hurtful things you should not have.
Kids can get provoking if they are messing around or troubling you. But neither of you will feel good with an overwhelming fight. So, instead of burning with anger, take a step back, look away from your child and take a few deep breaths. In this way, the situation would be the same but you are more calm and in your senses to handle their inappropriate behaviour.
5. Point your feet or nose toward your child when they talk to you
Body language plays an important role in defining your level of interest in others. When your kid comes to you to share something amazing that happened at school today, or confides with something that made them uncomfortable, you should give them your complete attention.
A conscious practice can help to achieve this, and make your kid feel secure and seen and heard. One great way of doing this is to point your toes in their direction. If you are sitting and cannot swing in their direction, you can turn your face and point your nose towards them.
