Sol Phenduka says child access should not be used to punish absent fathers

Sol Phenduka defends absent fathers

Radio personality Sol Phenduka has ignited a heated conversation on social media after reacting to a video in which media figure Gogo Skhotheni questioned whether a man who does not financially support his child should be allowed access to the child.

Sharing his view, Sol argued that seeing a child should not be treated as a reward tied to money, but as a fundamental right that also benefits the child emotionally and mentally.

“Seeing the child is a form of support, mentally and emotionally for the child,” he wrote.

“Seeing your child is not a reward. It’s a right! Let the deadbeat see the child. The child will realise as they grow up what their dad is.”

He went on to warn that denying a father access as a form of punishment could backfire.

“You punishing a dad by refusing him access to the child, that child will hate you when he grows up and realises what you’ve been doing,” Sol added.

His comments quickly drew mixed reactions online, with many users both supporting and challenging his stance.

Among those who weighed in was author, podcaster and social commentator Penuel Mlotshwa, who offered a more nuanced and critical perspective.

“I don’t think a father who doesn’t support his kids should see the kids,” Penuel responded. While acknowledging that time spent together can count as support, he questioned the practical realities around child care.

“Yes, quality time can be seen as a form of support… but what was that child eating before they came to you, what are they wearing, who paid for transport to get to you, who paid for the data to communicate with the mom?”

Penuel argued that even unemployed fathers should show tangible effort.

“Even unemployed gents can hustle second-hand clothes or fruits/vegetables for a child to show intent to contribute. They can loan money from family,” he said.

He also pointed out that access should not be denied in situations where the mother is equally struggling financially.

“In a situation where the babymama also has no money and relies on the child grant, she has no right to deny access,” he noted.

However, Penuel stressed that financial responsibility should not be dictated by the mother alone.

“It’s not the mom who must decide how much financial support is enough. The father must calculate fair value for the child’s living costs per his lifestyle measure and send half,” he said.

He concluded with a firm message in support of involved fathers, adding, “Men who are denied access while maintaining their kids or trying to, must also stop.”