Being mature enough to take responsibility for your actions and understand the pain it can cause your partner is key empathy that a relationship can’t be without.
You should always apologize for hurtful behavior, even if you think that the person feeling that pain doesn’t have a right to feel it, or you wouldn’t have been hurt by it.
If you do or say something hurtful, you can help to make it better by showing empathy and genuinely apologizing to your partner.
But it’s also important to remember that you don’t have to apologize for every little thing in your relationship — because believe it or not, there is such a thing as apologizing too much.
Should you say you’re sorry if you genuinely mess up? Of course. But you shouldn’t use those two little words as a catch-all solution to any problem that pops up, minor or major.
Here are 5 things you should never apologize for in a relationship:
1. Your hobbies or passions
You don’t have to share all the same interests as your partner to have a happy relationship, but you should both be supportive of one another’s hobbies, even if they don’t interest you.
Instead of apologizing, show your partner what makes you tick and encourage them to seek hobbies and passions of their own.
2. Asking repetitive questions
When you’ve been dating someone for a long time, it’s normal to feel like certain aspects of your relationship are repetitive. And sometimes, the day-to-day questions (like “what should we do for dinner?”) can be annoying — but you should never apologize for asking them.
3. Your natural quirks
In a relationship, you should feel free to be your most genuine, authentic self at all times. We all have quirks, and if your relationship is healthy, you should never feel like you have to apologize for being yourself.
You shouldn’t change your core, and if you have some quirks that your spouse or partner doesn’t like, you can’t keep apologizing for them.
4. Expressing an opinion
You’re not always going to see eye-to-eye with your partner, but the foundation of any good relationship is respect — which includes respecting one another’s opinions, even if you don’t agree with them.
You should not apologize for having an expressing an opinion, whether your partner agrees with it or not.
5. Something you didn’t do
It can be tempting to say “I’m sorry” just to avoid a fight… even if you didn’t do the thing you’re apologizing for. But ultimately, that empty apology has no merit, and will do more harm to your relationship than good.
