We tell lies to ourselves every day and that’s inevitable because lies are one of the many instruments our psyche uses to cope with stress.
Whether it’s a small lie to motivate yourself to exercise more (I think I already look slimmer) or a bigger lie to maintain family bonds (the family meeting wasn’t all that bad), we need to use them from time to time.
Much more dangerous are the lies you have been telling yourself for years, if not decades. Those lies are actually keeping you from growing and becoming a healthier, happier human being.
They are toxic because most of the time you don’t even realize what they truly are! Here are 6 lies you should stop telling yourself right now:
1. I will become happy after
This type of lie has many variations, but the main idea is that something nice will happen after a certain event, change, or action. This type of conditioning doesn’t let you see the truth of the situation you are in and shifts the focus on some better faraway future that will surely come. You will hang onto the job you hate for years, because ‘I will put some money away, and then I’ll go travelling, and then I’ll become happy’. Better ask yourself what is preventing you from doing the things you love right now? Don’t shift the focus on something that will make you happy in the future, see what can make you happy here and now.
2. I will start exercising tomorrow
Of course, I’m not talking about exercise alone – we tend to postpone positive changes in our lives all the time. Whether it’s a healthier diet, going to the gym, going to bed earlier, drinking less alcohol or eating less sweets – you can start right now. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is because getting into a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have a time stamp. Tomorrow won’t be any different from today unless you start making small changes right now.
3. I am not worthy of love
You may not be telling yourself this directly, but this line may still be playing in your subconscious mind like a broken record. If you find yourself getting into unhealthy relationships where you end up treated badly, stop and ask yourself – do you really think you are worthy of love and happiness? Then go deeper and see if you truly, madly, deeply love yourself. First and foremost you should learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself – that is the foundation of any happy relationship, including the one with you.
4. He will change because I love him
Being in a relationship comes with lots of responsibility. If you truly love each other, you can work out most issues. But if you’re stuck with a person who is disrespectful and constantly violates your trust, simply loving him won’t be enough. No matter how you cherish the relationship, no matter how much you love and care for your partner, he will not change unless he wants to.
5. My dream is too big, I won’t even try
Dreaming big is one of the most important motivators we have in life. Have you ever heard about some genius inventor, successful businessman or a great actor who didn’t dream big? If you can imagine it – then you can achieve it! That’s how things work in life. And if you start moving towards that dream of yours, even with baby steps, it will make your life much more meaningful and enjoyable. Most of the time it’s not even the result, it’s the journey that makes it all worthwhile.
6. I’m not good enough
This is one of the most toxic lies as it holds you back from doing things that make you truly happy. When you think you’re not smart enough, not beautiful enough, and in general not good enough, you won’t even try doing what your heart desires out of fear of failure. A cool job opportunity presents itself? But you’re again afraid you’re not good enough. Someone may have told you this at some point in time, maybe when you were little. These cognitive distortions lie deep inside our psyche, but the earlier you recognize them, the better.
