Usually, when talking about abuse, people think of physical abuse and rarely anyone thinks about another dangerous kind of abuse—emotional abuse. Screaming and manipulation don’t leave visible wounds, bruises, or scars.
If you want help, if you want to tell someone what has happened to you, it’s a risk because you’ll never know if people are going to believe you, especially if you are dealing with a manipulator in disguise.
He’ll make sure you appear crazy and unreliable, so even if you’re telling the truth, no one will believe you. Here are some of the ways that can help you in protecting yourself from emotional abuse:
1. Be smart enough not to fall for his tricks
An emotional manipulator will do anything to get under your skin. He will put the blame on you, he will make you feel like you are the crazy one.
He is a master when it comes to ignoring and thus hurting you, pretending you did something wrong. Emotional abusers feed themselves with your reactions, with your sadness and the fact they are getting to you.
2. Know that you can’t change him
This is the most common mistake women make in abusive relationships. Your feelings are mixed somewhere between love and hate because in the beginning, you really loved him—until he showed his true face.
The fact is, he is and he always was, but his manipulations are so good that you missed the fact that he is a manipulative asshole. His toxic behavior will never change because he can’t change.
3. Write down the things he says
He can twist anything you say. His ultimate goal is to make you look like the bad one and present himself as a victim of your abuse, someone who will ‘forgive’ you for your behavior because he is generous that way.
When in reality, you are the victim of his manipulative behavior. Write things down after you talk to him, so the next time he tries to twist your words, check to see if you were right.
4. Don’t change yourself
You’ll waste your energy if you try to change yourself. You’re going to be miserable no matter how many times you try to convince yourself that you’re not.
You may lie to yourself and as long as you are doing exactly what your abuser wants you to, you’re going to be fine. You won’t be abused but you’re going to be very unhappy. Don’t change just so you can avoid conflict with your partner.
5. For the sake of your sanity, say: “You’re right!”
You shouldn’t let him get his way, but sometimes you just have to fold, as otherwise you would go insane. Sometimes it’s easier and better for you to just let him win the argument and let him have his victory dance.
Sometimes it’s better for your sanity to let him think he is right and after some time, karma will come to take its revenge, you can be sure of that.
6. Avoid an emotional relationship with him
This is easier said than done because in most cases these are manipulators in disguise, emotionally insecure men who defend themselves by treating others like crap and manipulating women into behaving the way it suits them.
Leave the relationship at the first signs of his manipulative behavior.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it was a one-time thing because it never is; and by the time you realize that, it will be too late to get out without any serious consequences.
