It’s unnecessary to stop loving someone simply because they don’t love you back. You should feel free to continue loving that person for as long as your heart desires.
Think of them fondly. Pray for them if you wish. What you cannot healthily do, is stay in a relationship with that person.
The fact is that if he/she is no longer interested in loving you the way you want and need to be loved, then whether or not you love each other is simply inconsequential. Your desires/choices are now incompatible.
You have to love yourself enough to move forward, toward the type of love you want and deserve. Below are 7 ways to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back:
1. Practice loving yourself
Practice loving yourself the way that you want to be loved so you attract people who love you in that same way. See yourself as an example of how to be loved and respected. It may be challenging at first, but soon it will become a wonderful habit
2. Have a support system
Have a support system you can turn to while you survive the relationship withdrawal that follows all breakups.
3. Shift the anger
Shift the anger and resentment that you may feel toward the person that rejected you. You don’t have to carry it as rejection. Rather, think of it as an indication of what you want and what you don’t and let it guide you to a love that feels better.
4. Resist the urge to go back to what doesn’t serve you
That pain might be comfortable but it may also be permanent, so ask yourself if you want to keep feeling it.
Journal, meditate, work out, go out and do all matter of other healthy things that can help you soothe the fear, anxiety, loneliness, and sadness that you might experience in the months to follow the release of that partner. It’s temporary and manageable.
5. Think of all the things about that person that you dislike
One of the biggest obstacles in stopping someone who doesn’t love you is the idealized version of them you hold in your head. Some may call this ‘relationship goggles.’
Maybe they’re condescending, or they won’t take no for answer — it could be anything. This process will take time and effort, but it’s worth doing.
The aim of this exercise isn’t to get over them with hate — that’s a path that will only hurt you more.
6. Get rid of the reminders of the relationship
In order to break free of the constant memory of the relationship, you’ll need to get rid of the things that remind you of it.
For example, gather the items that belong to your ex. Call them and ask that you organize a day and time for them to come and get their things. Gather all the photos of them and discard them.
7. Avoid negative self-talk
Don’t obsess over what went wrong in the relationship, what you feel you did wrong, or what you think you could have done differently to have possibly saved the relationship.
In addition, avoid thoughts such as “It was all my fault” or “No one else will ever love me.” These are examples of negative self-talk.
