A codependent relationship is an unbalanced one. Where one partner is clinging and constantly needs support and reassurance, the other partner is always having to be the hero, the giver, and sometimes the enabler.
Codependent relationships are more common than you think and more toxic as well.
Here’s how to restore balance if you happen to find yourself in one.
1. Validate your own feelings
When your happiness relies on your partner, you’ll never be satisfied. To correct this imbalance in your relationship, it’s important to change your focus. It’s easier to focus outward for validation. Looking inward and seeking inner peace by focusing on yourself will help you to be confident enough to be able to validate your own feelings.
2. Be comfortable with saying no
Codependent partners always seek guidance from others. They can make people feel responsible for their own choices. If you find yourself constantly making decisions for your partner and constantly having to give them what they want, that’s called unhealthy helping. Naturally, it makes you feel important, but it can also make you feel drained. This unhealthy helping is detrimental to your partner’s growth.
4. Don’t tie self-worth to your relationship
It’s important to learn to love yourself. When there’s a lack of self-love, it’s easy to put your partner’s needs before yours and make excuses for them when they don’t treat you right. When you love yourself, you can freely walk away from a situation that you know is wrong.
5. Express your concerns
In codependent relationships, it’s common for partners to not want to share what they think and feel. This usually happens because of fear of not being liked. When you live in a place of fear, you’re constantly carrying heavy emotions that you try to suppress and it stops you from being your true self.
6. Share your future plans
Making plans with your partner gives you both something to look forward to. Also, it’s something you can work towards together. When working towards this goal, don’t overdo your share of the work because overdoing is very common for codependent relationships. This goal you will be working towards needs to be a joint effort.
6. Listen to your inner dialogue
When you know something isn’t right, don’t ignore it. Your inner dialogue can save you from a lot of pain. When you have a codependent partner, it’s easy to make excuses for them because you love them. When you start making excuses for them, you end up lying to yourself to justify their actions and that’s not good for you or your partner.
