How being single in your 30s is different from your 20s



Your thirties are definitely the new twenties. Sure, you may not know what you’re doing still or what the future holds, but you start to care less about what others think and start to focus on those things that really make you happy.

In your thirties, you start realizing what’s important to you, what you really want to be doing, and realizing that it doesn’t mean you need to be in a relationship.

Here are some other differences you might notice.

1. Dating may not be as fun

In your twenties, it was almost acceptable to come home each night with a different guy and a night was deemed a failure if no one got a kiss. The casual sex, the flirting, the attention – it’s all great fun on a night out with friends. Now that you’re a bit older, you’re probably looking for something a bit more serious and you’re more cautious about who you sleep with.

2. The dating pool is smaller

It may feel like everyone is taken, like we were all playing a game of musical chairs when suddenly, the music stops and you look up and everyone else has sat down and you’re left standing without a chair. A lot of eligible guys have already coupled up and settled down, leaving far fewer options for you.

3. You become pickier

You can spot a player from a mile off and unless you just want a bit of fun, it’s easier to steer clear. You’ve heard all the pickup lines before and you know now what you like and how you like it. You’re not about to lower your standards for anyone or anything, and you definitely shouldn’t.

4. If you date, you find yourself more relaxed about it all

In your twenties, dating was part of the fun, something to do. There was always a drama or something happening. But now, character is more important than looks and how they treat you and make you feel is more important than their social status or job. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, that’s also fine.

5. Your protect your heart more

Usually, being single after 30 means you’ve had your fair share of heartbreak. With that comes hard lessons. Maybe you’re now your favorite companion and your life is exactly how you like it. That’s because you’ve spent the time building it by yourself for yourself. Bringing someone into that and letting down those walls is a big deal and you no longer do it for just anyone.

6. Everyone talks about a ticking clock

The damned clock. It will start as a little comment here and there until your family sit you down and advise that you should “probably find someone soon” so you can have a baby. It’s like you turn 30 and everyone becomes a lot more direct (and weird) about what they think you should be doing. You do you, whatever that is.

7.  Everyone else’s perception of you being single changes

Suddenly you’re not just living a fabulous single life with your best friends, you’re the sad friend who can’t get a boyfriend or who must desperately want to be married. Maybe that’s true but more often than not, it’s not. Don’t let other people tell you how to feel.

8. You suddenly become the dinner party entertainment for all your coupled-up friends

Tell us about a fun date. Let us live vicariously through you!” You may find your friendship group changes and adapts and that you aren’t invited when it’s a couples thing. Be honest about how this makes you feel. You might be fine with it, but you also might prefer to still be included.

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