Guilty of starting your relationship with a lie? Here’s what you need to do

Lying to your partner is never a good idea but sometimes, we, intentionally or unintentionally, end up speaking something which isn’t true.

It could be a made up story about something serious like past relationships and salary package or something as trivial as lying about watching a movie you actually have not.

Later, we might feel guilty for starting off the relationship on the wrong foot, isn’t it?

In case you have also said something to your partner that isn’t true, here’s how you can deal with the situation.

First of all, reflect on what made you lie to your partner? Did you say it just for the sake of impressing your crush? Something like, “Oh, I am also crazy about trekking” when you have not gone for a single trek yet or “I scored the highest in my batch” when you barely managed to score just the passing marks in all the subjects. Or, it was a big one like “I have bought a high-end car” when you don’t even own a single vehicle. Think and try to figure out why you lied. Were you feeling bored and wanted to speak something interesting or just wanted to cast a good impression on your crush?

Sometimes, we end up lying several times just to justify the first lie. Did you also fall in the same loop and created an unreal story? Or did you just bluff about something to prevent a lie from coming up in a conversation again? No matter what the reason might be for diverting from the truth, it would always come to haunt you.

Think about how would you react if your partner would have lied about something similar? Would you give him or her another chance and forget what happened or demand a proper explanation? Brooding over this would help you to prepare for the consequences.

Well, if you think your lie is harmless and won’t impact your relationship, you should forgive yourself but not before making a promise that you would not lie to your partner again. For instance, if you told your crush you have visited a particular café or restaurant which you have not, there is a high probability it won’t dent your relationship.

However, in case you have lied about something major, it’s best to confess it to your partner. Be honest and take full responsibility for your action. Come up with the genuine reason about what made you lie and assure you won’t lie again.

Confessing about your lie would surely help you feel lighter and take the burden off your shoulders. Do keep in mind that it might also lead to some trust issues and even make your partner overreact to the situation. It might take some time to make things return to normal but your honesty might help to strengthen your relationship in the long run.

What might be just a small fib for you could be a deal breaker for your partner. Remember, once you have confessed, it all depends upon your partner on how he or she wants to take the relationship forward. You can apologise and explain your reasons but you would have to respect whatever our partner decides.