Sleeping over at a guy’s place may sound like a non big deal, but when you read this article, you will see why it is inappropriate to do so.
People say you have to know the person you’re dating in and out before you should take the plunge into the institution of marriage. They go further to say that one of the best ways of knowing your partner well is when his or her guard is down and that can mostly happen immediately both of you wake up from sleeping very early in the morning.
A lot of people say passing the night regularly or even at least once at your boyfriend’s place is one of the rites of passage of dating and preparing for marriage.
These days, it has even become the ‘in’ thing to do and if as a young lady you’ve not done so or as a young man your girlfriend hasn’t done it with you, then either of you guys can be assumed to be a prude.
This is especially as it’s now being done with the knowledge and connivance of parents of either of the partners who should know better. In as much as I don’t want to sound as a moralist or a religious bigot, I believe a lot of priorities we place on certain new societal values are misplaced and downright bad in terms of the message we are getting from those who should know better.
Parents actively encourage their daughters to sleep over at their boyfriends’ without seeing anything wrong with it. Even fathers who normally shouldn’t be involved pretend and turn a blind eye to it when they get to know about it. For me, while as a bachelor, I believed nothing was more wrong or cheapened a woman more than for her to spend nights at my place when we weren’t married and the belief still stands as it is till today.
Yes unmarried couples will most likely always find a way to sneak around and have sex before marriage in this age and clime unless there’s a very strong reason to stop them from doing so, but should it be as blatant as the society is accepting it today? When you look at it critically, most guys hardly ever marry women who spend nights at their place while during courtship.
It is generally believed by guys that when a woman spends nights with him, there won’t be any mystery again about her. Another thing that ladies don’t know is that when you spend nights with with your man, you’re only showing him the desperate side to your character in ‘hooking’ him as husband.
It’s a known fact that men don’t like desperate women. In fact, they detest them. It’s as if a woman who’s desperate had tried the ‘field’ and couldn’t get a man and is now trying to ‘hook’ them by ‘hook or by crook’.
Men may like the free sex, free breakfast in bed cooked by these women and even the free house keeping that they bring along with them through helping them to keep house when you wake up in the morning.
They may like everything, but they are not dumb or fools. Most girls who are into this believe that it’s also a way of keeping lines of non-verbal communications open between themselves and their boyfriends. They claim it’s a way of finding out their compatibility level with their boyfriends before they decide on taking the marital plunge.
This is a complex muddy puddle for everyone involved. The society through the television and films shown has glamorised the issue of sleeping over and a lot of young ladies are now thinking it is alright to do.
The issue of sleeping over for me goes beyond the issue of sex and so it is for a lot of guys. Thank God that we still have some people who still value and respect their reputations enough to know that as Africans woman with morals, values and cultures, it is inappropriate to sleep over at a man’s place before marriage.
