We all have had our fair share of intense and heated moments in our relationships and that is normal.
Arguments and fights are normal when you are in a relationship but the way to make a relationship work is to build a strong and concrete foundation for you and your partner.
This can be done by communicating, expressing and listening better. Communication is important as it nurtures trust and connection between you two.
If you find the following signs in your relationship then, you are lacking some healthy communication.
1. Your conversations are textual
Texting with the person you are dating isn’t wholly wrong but avoiding calls even to get a confirmation of your plans? Feels like the person isn’t giving enough. If your beau solely depends on text-based conversations only, then it looks like you should have a good face-to-face conversation with them. Not talking on the phone or in person may indicate that they are putting in only a little effort. Texting is an easy escape and quick way to avoid someone.
2. They become defensive during an argument
Getting through an extremely furious argument without becoming defensive can look like an impossible task and it is natural to burst into a high tempered fight. However, this type of conversation will only be a promoter of unhealthy and toxic communication habits. During the heat of the moment, baseless accusations and horrifying words are thrown at each other followed by hurtful silences. These kinds of conversations ruin the intimacy and suck out the respect and goodwill out of the relationship.
3. They give you the silent treatment
It is okay to get some space from each other. Sometimes it is better to not say anything and make a huge mess out of the fight. Taking time off to cool down is always a great time to talk it out later. But is your partner avoiding talking to you altogether? Then, they are giving you the silent treatment which no one deserves as it is one of the most insulting and unfriendly things to do. The silent treatment can also be used as a tool to overpower someone or to emotionally distance themselves from you.
4. They make you a victim of projection
Projection is a psychological defence mechanism term that means a person wishes to assign their unwanted feels and characteristics to another person. This is a toxic trait and you might be misinterpreting this behaviour. The key solution to the problem is being self-aware. This helps you to understand when your partner is projecting and you can smoothly go through it without losing yourself in reality. As we all know and it’s a given that we only see the world through the lenses of our emotions and perception.
5. They will bring up the past
It doesn’t matter if you were together for a long time or you recently started seeing each other if they dig your past from the same or different relationship you should the red flag and not ignore it. Staying in the moment and sticking to the issue you are supposed to deal with right now is the most important thing to do while you are having problems to deal with. Healthy relationships are never built if your partner is holding grudges or any other kind of insecurities. The past should always stay in the past.
