The Kim Kardashian-Kanye West debacle shows us what happens when a good relationship goes south and one party refuses to accept that it is over.
If you don’t know about them, let me give you a rundown. They are both American celebrities.
Kim divorced Kanye sometime last year, but Kanye kept referring to her as his wife and trying to win her back.
It is an uncomfortable and stressful situation. If your ex is doing any of these, they are harassing you.
- Unwanted and frequent calls and messages especially when you have made it clear you do not want them.
- Sending you gifts and presents like when Kanye sent Kim a truck of flowers for Valentine’s.
- Showing up at your home or office unexpectedly and without permission.
- Spreading rumours or posting personal details of your life online.
- Threatening you physically, emotionally or financially.
If any of this is happening to you, here is what you can do.
1. Make it clear that it is over
You should not pick up their calls or engage them in any conversation that can make them feel hopeful. Do not revisit past issues and arguments. The relationship is done and over and you should let them know.
2. Delete sexual videos and chats from each other phones and devices
Revenge porn is common these days and perhaps during the rosy part of the relationship or marriage you recorded yourself having sex or you took sexual pictures. You must make sure they have deleted them.
You should do this before the breakup is official, e.g when you are thinking about leaving them. If you cannot do this before the relationship ends, be open enough to tell them to delete the sex videos you have of each other since you are not together.
If they refuse to delete the videos, threaten some legal actions against them if they ever leak it because it is a crime to leak sex videos.
3. Cut off ties
When you are no longer interested in the relationship, there is no point entertaining them on your social media especially if they tend to harass you.
Delete, block or mute. Do whatever is necessary to remove them from your life. Also, go private on social media so they do not stalk you with another account.
4. Announce publicly that you are no longer together
You need everyone to know you are no longer associated with them so they can accept it and so people will not deal with you as if you are still with them.
Tell your parents, relatives, friends and their parents, relatives and friends the relationship is over. Ask your parents to delete and block their number.
5. Move out for a while or change your house keys and all your passwords
Change the lock to your house and the password of all your work and personal accounts whether they had access to them or not.
Many people have lost their lives to a stalking ex so if it means moving out for a while or having someone stay with you, do it.
Lastly, report to the police so they can sign an undertaking if you feel that your life is threatened, or they refuse to delete your videos or return your keys.
