Here’s how you can have a better relationship with your estranged father



Almost every child shares an inimitable relationship with their father.

While some grow up to idolize their dads and keep them at the center of their universe, there are others who have a more difficult relationship with their papa.

Be it due to childhood trauma that you never quite recovered from, having a parent who was struggling with substance abuse or even as a child of divorce; there may be several reasons why your relationship with your dad is strained.

It may even have been this way for years together, but if you wish to bridge the gap, then read on.

Here are a few tips on how you can have a better relationship with your estranged father.

1. Initiate contact through a loved one

If you have been wanting to reconcile or even a start a conversation but taking the initiative could be hurtful to you, then simply ask a loved one to reach out to them on your behalf. This could be a sibling, your mother or even a grandparent who makes the first move for you. You can join them for a family dinner, have coffee together or even just exchange Christmas or Diwali cards for a soft start.

2. Don’t pull up hurts from the past

There is bound to be pain and resentment on both sides. So, a good way to start afresh is to bury the past and avoid speaking of it if it can hurt the other party. Should you wish to let them make amends, then allow them the time to open up to you, but do not demand an apology no matter how grievous their mistakes in the past.

3. Have a short meeting or call

It is unlikely that your relationship will be fixed immediately after the first meeting. So, keep it short and polite when you meet your dad. Do not take offense at his words and frame your sentences without any passive aggressiveness so that their feelings are not hurt.

4. Apologize to relieve the burden on yourself

Do not expect to bond with them immediately like it is all water under the bridge. You need to accept that though you may be willing to apologize, they may not be at the same place. So, tender in your apology only if it makes you feel better.