All kinds of connections between people should be based on mutual feelings.
When you are the only one who cares, it’s an unhealthy union. This is when you know you are in a one-sided friendship.
Does your friend ask you for favors too often? Do they disappear when you most need them? Do they only remember about you when they want something?
Behaviors such as these are common in one-way friendships. Read through the signs below to know for sure.
1. Your friend doesn’t listen
Listening is one of the most important components of a healthy friendship. When you listen to your friend without interrupting them or changing the subject, you show them that you care. You are genuinely interested in what they have on their mind.
So what happens when your friend doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? They don’t listen. Or they just pretend that they do.
2. They take you for granted
One-sided friendships often leave you feeling unappreciated. You feel this way because you do things for your friend, but they don’t seem grateful. They just take your effort for granted.
For example, you helped your college buddy with an assignment a few times. Now, whenever he has issues with his paper, he turns to you without even asking if you are available for help. He doesn’t think about whether you might be busy or have assignments of your own. He expects your help as if you owe him.
3. They ask you for favors all the time
As we said above, one-way friendships are typically based on convenience. You will notice that your friend often needs something from you.
Okay, it’s pretty natural to ask favors from your friends now and then. But if requests have become an essential part of your interactions, then it’s about convenience, not true friendship.
4. Your friend’s presence in your life is fleeting
Someone who is truly interested in you will want to know your news. They will also try to see you as often as possible.
Of course, with our hectic lives, we can’t always find time for our friends. But even though meeting up is more difficult to arrange, giving a call or texting is not.
5. Your friend is not there for you when you need them
Your friends’ true colors show when you are in trouble. “A friend in need is a friend indeed”, remember?
Imagine that you had a difficult day – your boss yelled at you and then you also had a fight with your girlfriend. You are in desperate need of a listening ear. You call your friend and suggest meeting up or at least having a phone conversation.
But he says he gotta go. He can’t come, he can’t listen to you, he is not available right now.
6. They show up only when they need something
Your friend doesn’t care to be a part of your life. We already said above that they may disappear for weeks and show up again as if nothing happened.
But an even more telling sign of a one-way friendship is that the other person texts or calls you only when they need a new favor. Don’t fool yourself.
7. If they have a choice, they always prefer someone else to hang out with
How does your friend behave when in a group? Do they talk to you at social gatherings or do they always seem to be busy chatting with someone else?
If it’s a one-sided friendship, then the other person will barely give you any attention at parties and get-togethers. It’s because they will want to have fun with the people they are genuinely attached to.
8. You never meet up outside of the workplace/classroom
Oftentimes, friendships arise when two people share the same work or study environment. Some of these connections happen to last, others are temporary and revolve around convenience.
You can easily tell the difference. A fake friend who is only taking advantage of you won’t care to get to know you outside of work or studies. They are not genuinely interested in you.
9. Your friend doesn’t understand you
You can’t say that you two are at the same wavelength. You are pretty different and your friend doesn’t share your values, aspirations, and passions.
Maybe there are topics you never discuss with them because you know you will face misunderstandings. You never feel accepted and understood in their company.
10. The things that unite you are superficial
Since there is a lack of deep connection in your friendship, things that unite you lie on the surface. As we said, you have different values, goals in life, and interests.
So your friendship could be situational – as in the example of studies/workplace. You basically have nothing in common except for living in the same street or sitting in the same office or classroom.
