No one ever said relationships are easy 100 percent of the time.
In order to have a healthy thing going on, you’ll both need to make an effort to avoid sh*tty relationship pitfalls.
Nobody enjoys discussing hurt feelings, awkward financial topics, future mother-in-laws, or anything else that might bring on that squirm in your chest.
But healthy relationships understand that it’s not an option — it’s a requirement. And, while you’re at it, read on for some habits you should definitely avoid.
1. Bottling up your feelings
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is healthy and open communication, so try not to bottle up your feelings. Feelings, while sometimes illogical, are always valid. Sharing them with your partner is key.
2. Trying to be a mind reader
While you know each other well, don’t assume you can read each other’s minds. You will always have the responsibility to ask for what you want no matter how long you have been together … Spell it out for [each other] every single time and you won’t feel constant disappointment.
3. Never talking about the future
If you want your relationship to go down a healthy road and have long-term success, then you kind of need to talk about the future. “If you or your partner avoid making to-do lists for the months and years to come, you may want to reconsider the stability of your relationship. This refusal to commit to the future goes hand-in-hand with a reluctance to commit to the relationship itself. And that ain’t good.
4. Telling all sorts of white lies
Grand, sweeping lies are obviously damaging to a relationship. But little white lies aren’t so great, either. It may seem harmless to tell a little white lie or two on occasion, but it is important not to make a habit of it. Lies are like wildfire … One harmless lie could build into multiple lies and spiral into a web of deception if you are not careful.
5. Calling your partner names
Barring the occasional slip up during a heated argument, you should never call your partner names. When a partner does this, the other partner either shuts down or gets defensive and communication about the problem is stopped. The complaining partner doesn’t feel heard and the other partner feels hurt.
6. Shutting your partner out
Otherwise known as “stonewalling,” shutting your partner out when you’re feeling upset isn’t a good idea. It’s easy to get your feelings hurt and shut off emotionally, but that is the kiss of death in a lot of relationships. Punishing your partner for having feelings by not speaking at all is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship.
7. Betraying your partner’s trust
It’s possible to ruin trust in many ways, as with lying and name calling. But we all know the ultimate betrayal of trust has to do with being unfaithful — either physically or emotionally. This destroys trust and take a lot of work to rebuild. So just don’t do it.
