5 do’s and don’ts when arguing in front of your kids

Arguments and fights are a part of every relationship. No matter how much you try, it is something you cannot escape.

However, when you’re a parent, there are an infinite number of things you must bear in mind, especially when it comes to arguing in front of your children.

Seeing their parents fight may not be very pleasant for the child and their psychological being.

Experts believe the negative effects can include stress, anxiety, behavioural problems and sleep disturbances.

The trauma may even be carried forward to one’s adult life, affecting relationships in the future.

That said, as parents, it is important to live by certain rules when it comes to arguing and fighting in front of children.

Never shout, yell or scream in front of your children. Always keep it down even if you don’t agree with your partner or the person you’re arguing with. Shouting as you all know is counterproductive and only makes things worse. This not only scares your child, but also gives them the wrong impression that they can yell when they want things to go their way.

Disagreements are a part of life and every individual has the right to different opinions. But does that mean you should start name-calling, screaming or intimidating people with threats? No and surely not in front of kids. Such violent behaviours sometimes forces your child to become referees, trying to pull you and your partner apart. Think of how traumatic it could be for the child and what example would it set for them. It is crucial that your child does not see you in such a fury. Even if you argue with your partner in front of them, they should know that you’ll always love each other no matter what.

Becoming a parent and taking on parental duties is never easy. There are a lot of things you and your partner may disagree about. However, irrespective of the differences in opinion about raising your kids, do not argue or fight about it in front of the children.

Witnessing their parents fight over them, children may develop a wrong idea about themselves. They may start to believe that they’re the cause of the constant disagreement between their parents, making them guilty of their existence. The emotional stress is so much that it can lead to anger and aggression.

While it is important that you do not fight about decisions regarding your child, it is as crucial that you leave them out of it. Sometimes, parents, in the heat of the moment, ask their children to pick a side. Now, no matter how clear they are about their opinions, asking them to take a side can be very unsettling for them. That said, parents should ensure that their children do not have to choose, because picking sides often escalates the matter further, which eventually makes kids feel it’s all their fault.

As discussed, fights and quarrels are a way of life. But the right thing to do is to work towards resolving conflicts rather than escalating the matter. Your child should witness you and your partner trying to resolve issues, handle problems together. This will give them a feeling of security and will also help them understand the importance of conflict resolution.