In our country, it is often considered okay for the society to judge and question our choices leaving very little room for privacy and respect for space.
From finding out when we plan to have a baby to offering unsolicited advice on raising that kid to when we need to expand the family, the average South African relative or intrusive “well-wisher” will always have an opinion to share.
But is that reason enough to go in for another baby? Definitely not. Here are 6 tips that help you deal with the pressure of having another baby.
1. It’s your decision
Remember, this is YOUR decision. And your spouse’s. Don’t let others influence their decision on you. It is okay to ask them for their opinion, but the decision should be yours and final. As a mom, you may have your reasons why you want to go for a second child. Your siblings are your pillar of support and you may want your child to experience that. But you should consider other factors when going for baby #2.
2. Plan this beginning
Well I am not going to mince words. But you need to assess your finances before planning for a second child. Ask yourself if you can afford it, ‘coz let’s admit it, raising a child is very expensive in today’s times. Make a fair assessment to help you decide.
3. Are you ready mentally and physically?
Are you ready to come out of the “one and done” mindset and do things all over again? If you are upto it, that’s fab, but again, make sure you consider your health, your ability to give your child your time and energy and do it the way you did for the first child.
4. You do you
Know how to handle your naysayers and unsolicited advice-givers. Put up a smile on your face, but know where you draw the line. Remember parents, eventually, whatever be your decision, as a parent, you will be giving your 100%. To ensure our sanity, good health and to prioritise ourselves among other things we do for the family, is also essential. Something we forget, too often.
5. Plan the future
Whether it is the first or second child, you need to plan your career and future. Is it going to pause, or halt temporarily, or rather come to a grinding halt? Would you and your spouse be taking turns to raise the child? Consider this before giving in to the pressure.
6. Pay attention to your first
Don’t entertain discussions of another child in front of your first born. Especially when they are in their innocent toddler and younger-age group. Also, be prepared to answer their questions, with lots of love, and assurance, whatever be your decision. They need to feel secure and loved in your arms.
